Chapter Four
My second visitto the hospital wasn’t much better than the first one. Although now I was less concerned about Ronny and more concerned about Tate. He was angry, and while I understood, I couldn’t fix the problem. Not yet anyways.
It felt harmless, letting Ronny believe we were still together. He was completely bedridden. It’s not like I was heading over to jump his bones. Even if he was capable of sex those feelings for him weren’t there anymore. They hadn’t been there for a while now if I was truly honest with myself. And when I broke it off with him again, I’d be honest with him about that too.
When I arrived, I found Dallas sitting in Ronny’s room, watching TV with him. Ronny hadn’t answered his phone when I had called back after Tate left. Which made sense now that I came to the room and saw him fast asleep.Dallas looked away from the TV and stood, stretching.
“Coming to take over for a little bit? I could use a walk.”
I glanced over at the sleeping form and opted to step out with Dallas rather than sit and wait for him to wake up. The guilt was too much to handle.
We walked quietly down the hall and went downstairs for him to smoke a cigarette. We didn’t speak until we got outside. He lit his smoke and took a long drag before glancing over at me and raising his eyebrows.
“Did you tell GP?”
I grimaced at the old nickname.Guilty Pleasure.I preferred Tate. Just, Tate.
“Yes. He’s not happy about it.”
Dallas snorted.
“Of course he’s not. Who would be? I mean, how many times do you gotta dump a guy for it to be permanent? Shit’s exhausting and I’m not even a part of it.”
“What am I supposed to do? The doctor told me not to tell him.” I crossed my arms.
“Yeah, but what if his memory never returns? You gonna just pretend you aren’t in love with another man? And what about the baby? You can’t just flip flop with her. Don’t do that to the kid, man. Or me, my heart can’t take that shit. Don’t take my uncle status away from me. I just got it,” he pouted, putting his hand on his heart. I rolled my eyes but took in his words. He was right. While it wasn’t fair to Tate, it was really not okay to do to Cara.
After he finished his cigarette, he asked if it was okay to leave for a few hours.
“I could use a solid nap.” He lifted his arms and sniffed under his jacket and grimaced. “Probably a shower too. Let me take off for a bit. Maybe being alone with him will help you figure some things out.”
I nodded. I hoped he was right. I left him outside and went back in to see how Ronny was doing. He was still asleep when I crept back in his room. I breathed a sigh of relief. I needed some time to think.
I sat down beside him and looked at him sleeping soundly. He had to be on heavy drugs with how much damage had been done to his body. Any good sleep he was getting was most likely chemically induced. The IV taped to the back of his hand confirmed that.
I sighed and leaned back in the chair. What was I going to do? Suddenly a little ding went off from my sweater pocket. I reached for my phone to see what the notification was and my heart leapt out of my chest.
Gage Porter has posted a new picture. See it here first.
I instantly clicked on it and the notification brought up my husband’s social media page. My heart rose and sank all at once. The picture was a beautifully posed one of him shirtless and smiling, holding a sleeping Cara. Based on the background I could tell that he had gone to his parent’s house. The caption below the picture said.
“Sorry ladies, my heart’s been stolen.”
Instantly I clicked the little heart beside the photo.Mine too.
I watched for almost an hour as the likes and comments began flooding in. It was still bizarre to me that he had such a large, seemingly secret fan base. They loved Gage Porter, the sexy audiobook narrator. They didn’t know Tate, the amazing man behind the voice. Only I did, and I loved him.
I loved him. I loved him so much and yet I was here, watching my ex sleep. Why? Was it guilt or a need to ruin everything that was good in my life? What’s that phrase my mom always uses when talking about Dallas? Self-destructive tendencies. I wonder if she uses that word for me too. I wouldn’t blame her. I was here, after all, instead of with my husband and... daughter.
Could I even call her that if I abandoned her so quickly? It wasn’t abandoning. Surely Tate couldn’t consider it that. Ronny had no one else. And it wasn’t like I was the only one coming to stay with him. Dallas and Cash had already been here and they were bringing others to keep him company. I was no different than them. I was his friend.
Ronny stirred eventually and opened his eyes groggily. I sat up straight and gave him my attention, setting my phone down on my lap.
“Hey you,” he gave me a weary smile. “Anything interesting?” His eyes dipped to my phone. My heart sped up and I pressed my lips together.Here’s my chance.I swallowed and nodded.
“The baby came. It’s a girl.”
He squinted, as if trying to remember what I was referring to. Was his memory that damaged? He blinked with recognition a moment later.
