PART ONE
STARE
We got our name by accident.
A community huddled around the broken remains of grove avenue, we were the grove the first months after the attack.
Later, someone called us the grave. I don’t remember who.
It doesn’t matter.
It was fitting, and it stuck, and that’s all thatdoes.
We’re the grave now, and there’s no escape.
- Alexandra Holden
CHAPTER 1
It’s not the first time I’ve woken up screaming.
My reaction is the same as always: I shove my fist in my mouth, the tangy taste of blood landing on my tongue as I reopen another one of the cuts on my knuckles. It doesn’t stop the screaming, but it muffles it until I can shake the last vestiges of my nightmare from my mind and get some kind of control.
It’s pitch-black around me, the unfamiliar room full of nothing but too-haunting memories. The screams have stopped as my breathing turns frantic; the same terror that I’ve gone blind in the night makes it hard for my lungs to function the way they should. It’s suffocating, like someone has sucked all of the oxygen out of the air. I start to choke.
My legs kick at the sheets already so hopelessly entangled after another night of restless terrors. I want to run, I want to break free, I want to get out and kill any lurkers I can find before they get me.
A cold sweat breaks out on my forehead, on my neck, down my back. I have to get the hell out of here, but to where? I have no fucking clue.
I yank my hand out of my mouth. Fingers clutch at the sheets, fisting them, grounding me. I suck in another breath.Pushing myself up to my elbows, I blink a few times, looking past the impenetrable dark. It fades, letting the shadows in.
For a split second, I’m still lost. My bed never faced this way before. When I had a TV that worked, it was mounted on the other wall. My closet door was in front of me, not to my left, and I used to enjoy sleeping by the window. Waking up in the winter, rolling over to see the snow… it was one of those little pleasures in life.
But it’s not worth the risk of a lurker breaking through the Grave and smashing the glass. This bed is positioned as far away from the blacked-out, covered windows as it can be.
Oh, and it’s not my bed.
It belonged to Stacey Finch. I went to school with her younger brother, Tom. They lived with their parents in a complex of pretty pricy condos called Oak Grove. When the survivors abandoned their homes, moving closer to the local high school, Jack brought my twin and me to take over one of the empty condos. We’ve lived here ever since, and if I still wonder whether Stacey fled, if she was lurker food, or she ended up Turned herself, I try not to obsess over it too much. The Finches were gone when the Turning was done, leaving their house ripe for the pickings, and that’s all that matters.
At least, that’s how Jack explains it, and it’s easy to just agree with him.
Does that mean I want him to know that I’m having another nightmare? The master bedroom is down the hall. If he was home to get a couple of rare hours down himself and he heard me, he’d never get any rest.
Worrying about Jack is enough to help me get my ass under control. My throat is raw from screaming and the strain of choking on my breath. My eyes have adjusted enough for me to finally remember where I am, and at the very least, I know I don’t have to run.
Not yet, anyway.
I’m safe. I’m alive.
I’malone.
All of a sudden, the panic gives way to a heavy weight pressing against my chest. It feels like someone just dropped a rock on me. I lay there, paralyzed for a moment, all the fight in me simply gone. Angry, hot tears appear in the corners of my eyes, but I pretend not to notice them. I fool myself into thinking it might be the sweat dripping from my brow that’s causing my eyes to sting. I don’t care. Besides, I’m used to it.
Instead, leaning over, I start groping around the edge of the bed. My emergency pack of matches must be somewhere near. My lighters are never too far away, either.
My hand closes on something poking out from under my pillow. It’s rectangular and sleek and cool against my palm. The relief is sudden and sweet. I finally feel like I can breathe again at last.
It’s my phone.
