“Then let me go in your place,” Chase says instead. He tightens his grip on my wrist and my eyes widen. “You stay here. We both know you’ve been on nearly as many missions as me. You protect the Grave and I’ll go with the stranger to take out the nest.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “His name is Maverick.”
Chase’s fingers tighten, digging into my skin, eyes wild. “That’s what he says his name is. He could be anyone. You can’t trust him.”
He’s not really wrong. Some nobody breaks into the Grave—sneaking in or being caught by one of our patrols, it doesn’t matter, he wasn’t invited—and I’m willing to head out into the outside world with him? Why? Because he’s as murderous as I am when it comes to the lurkers?
“Chase—”
“What if he takes advantage of you? What if he wants something from you… you’re so fucking beautiful. Anyone with eyes can see that. I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to have you all to himself.”
Ignoring the way my heart jumps to hear Chase call me beautiful, I scowl at him. “Is that the problem? I fucked you so now you think I’ll give it up to any guy who looks at me twice? Is that what you think of me? I’m going to kill lurkers, but in the downtime, I’ll sleep with this guy? If that’s all I wanted, you’d have found me with Tony Morello this morning.”
Chase’s expression turns flat. “No, I wouldn’t have. I promise you that.”
He’s not wrong, but that’s the problem. It’s the end of of the goddamn world and if I want to have reckless sex, I can, so long as I’m safe because fuck if I’m bringing any kids into this messed-up world. I made that mistake once already, and I’m just glad it didn’t bite me in the ass when I was too drunk to demand he find some kind of protection.
Now he thinks I want to go on a lurker hunt and bang my guide? But I won’t because of?—
I jab my finger in his chest. “Back off, Chase.”
“Hallie—”
Nope.
“See? That. That right there… this is why I have to go. I’mnotHallie, and maybe if I leave, you’ll finally get that through your thick skull.”
Chase swears under his breath, before muttering a quick apology. “I’m sorry?—”
Yeah? So am I. “Let go of me.”
I don’t think he even realized that he was still holding onto me so tightly. He glances where his fingers are circling my wrist, but rather than release me, he squeezes just a little more. “What about Jack?”
My stomach goes cold. “What about him?”
He shudders out a breath of his own. “Look. My family’s dead. I lost them all in the Turning. Hallie…” He gulps, voice breaking on my twin’s name before he tries again. “You’re right. Hallie’s gone. There’s nothing left for me in the Grave, especially if you go. But, if you stay, I’ll hunt those lurkers down for you, Holden. I need to know you’ll be safe, and you’ll be safe so long as you stay. There’s nothing keeping me here anymore.”
It’s my own fault. Sometimes I can put the guilt behind me, but it’s never gone for long. His subtle reminder that I’m the reason he’s alone makes my stomach twist; his touch feels like it’s blistering my skin. What the fuck was I thinking, letting him get so close?
I yank on my hand.
Chase tugs back, stronger than I was expecting. I’m not even sure how it happens, but suddenly I’m pressed against him. His free hand curls around my back, pushing me closer. My tits smash against his chest. I gasp, Denise’s hoodie slipping from my hold, lips parting slightly as I tilt my head back up to glare at him.
Is it a glare? I’m not sure. Chase must’ve seen something in my expression—either that or, desperate as he is, he decided to say “fuck it” and go for it—because he dips his head, taking my mouth with his.
The touch of his lips against mine short-circuits my brain. I stand there, letting him kiss me, letting him slip his tongue into my mouth, stroking his against mine as though his life depends on getting me to respond to its caress. He releases my hand, encircling me with both arms.
And I must’ve lost my goddamn mind because I slip my hands between us, clutching his t-shirt in my fingers, clinging to him for dear life as I kiss him back.
It doesn’t last. As soon as I remember that this isChase Knight, I yank my head away. I untangle my fingers from the fabric of his shirt, placing my palms against his pecs, shoving him away from me.
He stumbles two steps back before surging forward. His hands go to my elbows, clutching me as his eyes darken in desperation.
“Can you tell me that you didn’t feel anything? That you don’t?—”
I thrust down my arms, breaking his hold on me. “I’m not Hallie.”
His expression is so pained, I feel like a heartless bitch for reminding him of the truth. Especially when the taste of his mouth is on my tongue and, damn it, it’s taking everything I have not to dive in for another kiss.
