“I think you’re worrying about nothing. Pipes seems right to me, and you know my instincts are always good,” I joked and drank the rest of my beer.
“Yeah, it’s just your moral standards that are piss poor, right, brother?” He laughed back and straddled his bike. “Save me a beer.”
“You think I’m saving all the beer until you get back?” I laughed. “Not a chance. I’m celebrating finishing our bike.”
“You fucking better. I’ve worked my ass off building that bike and I expect a fucking cold beer waiting for me when I get home as thanks.”
“Thanks? I would have finished that shit off long ago if it wasn’t for your slow ass!”
He laughed. “Fuck you then, little brother! I’ll bring my own beer, just be sure to save me a seat on the sofa, at least.” He turned and walked to his bike.
“I’ll try, but you better hurry and you better bring more beer back with you!” I laughed. I put my hand in my pocket and fished out the keys to our bike before handing them over to Butch.
He looked down at them and then back up to me quizzically.
“She could do with a ride out. Only had her on short bursts so far. Seems only fair since you’re riding out for me.”
Butch smiled. “Well all right, if you insist, little brother. I’ll see you back here soon enough.”
I nodded to our bike, jealous that he was going to get to ride it that night. “I expect you to ride like the fuckin’ wind, brother,” I replied and walked back inside laughing.
He said something else but I didn’t hear it, and I never knew what it was because I never saw him alive again.
Pipes was on his way out as I got inside. “Everything okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I replied.
“Butch need any help?”
“Help?” I frowned. “Why the fuck would he need help?”
“Just saw him arguing with Dom about going somewhere is all. Just making sure he didn’t need me to ride out with him instead.”
“Nah, he’s good, he won’t be long. You wanna help out, then make sure some beer gets saved for him.” I laughed and patted him on the shoulder.
“I’ve got his back,” Pipes replied with a laugh as I walked away to find Laney. Party was getting out of control, and it was time she left.
All I knew was that he had taken my place that night. But worse, I had told him to speed, and I had told him to bring beer. And it was a combination of those things that had gotten him killed.
I had gotten my brother killed. And on the bike we built together, no less.
*
No matter how many times I tried to ignore it, the twisted metal of the broken barrier always called me back to it. Like death to the Grim Reaper the place where Butch died always dragged me to it.
I let out a heavy sigh and picked up my helmet before getting back on my bike, still feeling full of anger and grief, and wishing that I had never walked into the gas station earlier. I had been doing pretty good at keeping everything bottled up, or so I thought. But my argument with Charlie had brought it all to the surface. Goddamn meddling bitch that she was. Always thought she knew so much better than everyone else, when really she knew jack shit about anything at all. The only thing Charlie knew was that Laney and I loved each other and I was burning our love to the ground.
She still loved me.
Despite everything that I had done already; she still fucking loved me.
I sat on my bike, contemplating my next move. I cracked my knuckles, feeling pissed off because I couldn’t just walk away from my woman—from Laney. I had done the unimaginable to her, but when I needed to leave her the fuck alone to hate me all I could do was go crawling back. I was a selfish asshole, and no doubt I’d break her heart again. But like a crack head to their dealer, I just needed one last taste of Laney before I could let her go.
Just one last touch and I would walk away, I lied to myself.
I started my bike and began to ride again, that time heading toward Charlie’s house, because there was no time like the present for this shit.
I pulled up in front of Charlie and Rider’s house twenty minutes later and stormed up to the front door, not really sure what I was going to say to her, or even if she would listen, but I needed to see her at least one last time. I was angry with myself, angry with the world, and angry with Butch. None of this shit would be happening if he wouldn’t have died.
