And for what?
More money.
A business deal.
An ‘in’ with a government official?
Shaking my head, I slipped my body off the buoy and back down into the briny waters below.
I swam slowly this time, each stroke deliberately made as I thought over where I was going, and what my heart, my brain, and my body wanted to do.Who I wanted to do.
The distance to the boat was my last saving grace.
From the need, the desire, the lust building inside me.
If I could talk myself out of this, convince myself not to wanther, then life from now on would be easier. Yes, we’d both be forced into things that we didn’t choose, but the future would be laid out, decided, there’d be no thinking or fighting involved. It was exactly the sort of thing a mindless Bratva soldier should want--to benefit the family, no personal feelings involved.
Sometimes, I wanted to be that way.
But I couldn’t be. It just wasn’t in my genetic makeup. Hell, look at Mother Markov. She’d broken the mold by taking my father’s place at the table, and people were resistant, until she proved her metal.
The boat was getting closer.
There wasn’t much time now.
Be smart. Don’t be a fucking idiot. Alex will kill you. Eduard and Evelina will kill you. Viktor was definitely going to kill you. Hell, Katya might kill you in the end.
I was mere yards away from the back of theOcean Darling, which bobbed up and down gently in the idyllic waters.
Only a few feet now.
My fingers gripped the back of the boat and I took a deep breath before hoisting myself up.
It was too late now.
I was a dead man, because I couldn’t purge her from my soul.
Katya was laying on her stomach, pert ass on full display, and I watched her hungrily despite the fatal thoughts in my head.
Drown me. Shoot me. Cut off my hands.
I’d feel what it was like to touch her body,no matter the consequences.Maybe we could keep it a secret, maybe we couldn’t.
Maybe I just didn’t fucking care anymore.
Let the water warm. Let it boil and burn.
I wasn’t jumping out.
Chapter Twenty
Katya
Nik reached the back of the boat and climbed out of the water. He was dripping wet, his body refreshed but his expression seemed burdened with heavy thoughts. I was sunbathing, on my front this time, and I turned my head and watched him take a moment to appreciate my ass.
“Can you put some cream on my back, Nik?” I asked and I smirked when he startled slightly, like he hadn’t realized that I was awake.
“Sure,” he replied, stalking towards me, tanned muscles flexing, jaw ticking. He stood above me, still dripping wet and then he shook himself, sending cold water flying in all directions. I screamed and squirmed on my towel in a vain attempt to protect myself, but he laughed and knelt by my side. “Sorry, Princess, I needed to dry off.”
