I swam faster.
Knowing that, as far as Katya was concerned, I was already drowning.
The water was clear, too clear for my liking, and I wished we were back in the states and I was staring at the murky waters of the Hudson River. That was something I could understand right now. The things hidden beneath its surface were more like my soul. It was how the hell things should be; dirty and forbidden.
It was funny; the last swim I’d had in the Fiji waters had mesmerized me. Crystal clear and giving way to beautiful sights beneath, and I’d even thought to get snorkeling equipment for my next dip in the ocean. But my frame of mind was beyond dark right now.
Sometimes when things are too clear, and you can finally see the shit you’ve tried not to face, your whole damn world turns upside down.
Had I always felt this way? Or had my feelings towards Katya altered slowly over time, like a frog jumping into cool water and getting comfortable. And the water begins to warm and bubble and finally boil around him, and he’s too damn relaxed to know he’s in danger and jump the hell out.
I’d been sitting in comfortable waters. Knowing my place as Alex’s best friend, as a Bratva soldier, as Katya’s tormentor.
And all this time the water had been getting warmer by the year.
Until I was faced with dying.
Even now though, with every warning bell in my brain screaming at me to jump out of the pot and jump to safety, I just couldn’t bring myself to go back to the way things were. I didn’t want to tease her anymore. She was no longer the kid sister trailing after me and Alex and making a mess of things.
She was a woman.
A perfect fucking woman.
With curves that slayed. A mouth that made me weak. And a fire below the surface that could burn down the damn world.
I swam faster. Harder.
The ocean was salty and warm, and it felt like silk against my body as I moved, cutting through the water easily.
I was getting too far from the boat, but I wasn’t ready to turn around. Not yet. A buoy floated in the distance, bobbing up and down in a startling riot of fire engine red and pristine white. I made my way to it; muscles beginning to stiffen and grow intensely sore from lactic acid buildup.
Gripping the sides of the large buoy, I pulled myself up out of the water and sat on the slippery edge, my eyes fixated on theOcean Darlingin the distance. I could just see hints of hot pink material covering a sinful body that the Devil himself had made just to taunt me.
Katya was walking the lower deck of the medium sized ocean craft, looking for me. Her hand lifted to shade her gaze as she searched the blue waters. Eventually, she spotted me, waving and then gesturing for me to come back.
I wanted to.
So badly.
More than she could possibly know.
I lifted a tired arm, exhaustion shooting through it in sharp pangs, and waved back.
Her figure turned away, moving a few paces before lowering down against the deck. I closed my eyes, imagining her stretched across her towel, golden skin baking in the sun. My mind envisioned every inch of her, from toes to thighs to hips. Her thin waist and perfect, rounded breasts were next. Her body was drool-worthy, any man would want her.
But I loved other things too.
The way her eyes twinkled when she laughed.
The way her forehead crinkled when she was thinking about something too hard. She was always overthinking, even if she denied it.
And I loved that she wasn’t what everyone else saw—the well-dressed princess with an attitude. She was more than that. A warrior beneath the Gucci and diamonds and expert manicure. She wanted more for herself than being a trophy wife. She wanted more out of life.
I was the same.
I was more than what everyone saw on the surface. More than a soldier, more than an enforcer who’s only currency came in blood and bullets. My value extended beyond the gun I carried, beyond the men I’d punished.
I wouldn’t be sold off for the benefit of the family, that much I’d decided. But I also couldn’t let Katya be a pawn given to the likes of Viktor.
