Pushing my top back down, I splashed water on my exhausted face, dreading going back out there and seeing Beast. I hated looking at him, knowing that I knew who had done this to him. Knowing that I would be the one to deliver the final blow. It was hell to me. Not the pain, not just the fear, but the betrayal. I’d been betrayed my whole life, and now I was doing it to someone else.
I was worse than pond scum.
I’d thought several times about trying to speak to Shooter or Beast and tell them what was going on, but I backed down every time. The way Beast looked at me, filled with hate and anger, I wasn’t sure that he’d believe me. And if he did…he might think Lorenzo had something to do with it and kill him. It would be another thing on my already overflowing conscience.
I pouted at my reflection, pulling my hair up into a high bun and wincing as I stretched and my stomach muscles cried out in pain. Tears filled my eyes again, but I refused to let them fall. I didn’t deserve to cry. I wasn’t worthy of those tears, because I was the villain in the story now.
Leaving the bathroom, I headed back to Beast’s room. With my hand on the handle, I turned when I heard my name being called. Looking around, I saw one of the women that always hung around the club standing at the makeshift bar area, waving to me.
It was the same woman that I’d seen having sex with Beast that night, and I felt something akin to pain and jealousy combined in my heart. She waved me over and I sighed, not wanting to talk to her or anyone but already knowing that it might be my way to get information. If I befriended her then I’d have a reason to be out there more often. If I had a reason to be out there more often…
I plastered on a fake smile and walked toward her, trying to mask the pain I felt running through my stomach with every painful step.
“Hey, girl!” she said, pulling me into a painful hug. I winced and she let me go with a worried look. “Sorry, I’m a hugger,” she laughed. “Fragile little thing aren’t you? You okay?”
I smiled back. “I have a tummy ache, sorry. I’m fine.”
“I’m Lola,” she said, holding out a hand this time, and I shook it.
“Belle,” I replied. “I think we’ve met once before actually.”
She cocked her head. “We have? I don’t remember, and I’m normally pretty good with faces.”
I felt the blush rise to my cheeks. “I walked in on you and Beast at the hospital,” I admitted sheepishly.
Lola didn’t seem like the sort of woman to be shy or blush, but she looked away, her smile faltering momentarily. “Yeah, umm, sorry about that.”
I put a hand on her arm. “Oh no, it’s fine. I should have knocked. Totally my fault.”
“How’s he doing in there?” she asked, a strange look on her face.
“He’s okay. He’s healing.” I shrugged. I needed to give her more. I needed to open up the conversation, but I wasn’t sure how. A secret spy I was not.
“That’s good. That man has been through so much.” She twirled her straw around in her drink thoughtfully. “You heard what happened to him, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah,”
“Of course you did! You’re his nurse.” She giggled like she was a schoolgirl, and I envied that laugh—how carefree it sounded. “It was awful. So awful. He and Echo were like brothers. I mean, they were in terms of the brotherhood an’ all, but I mean, Beast really saw him as his brother. Not to mention all the torturing they did to Beast, but I think that’s the thing that hurts him the most: the loss of Echo.”
“I didn’t know that, actually. I thought it had just been Beast that had gotten hurt.”
Lola shook her head, a sad smile coming to her face, and fresh guilt blossomed at how I was using her. “No, Echo was shot and killed right away. That meant that Beast got everything that was intended for the both of them.” She leaned in. “Truth is, I don’t think anyone expected Beast to survive. I heard that there were over three hundred cuts and burns on his body alone.” She looked back to her drink. “How does someone survive that?”
Three hundred.
The number danced around my head like a taunt.
I’d seen his body. The cuts and the bruises. The burns, slices, the broken ribs. But I’d never counted and I’d never thought to think too hard on how he’d gotten them. Jenna had trained me to see past the story and go directly to the person so I could help them. And that’s what I’d done.
I thought about Beast and the sort of man he was. All the anger and hate he carried with him. He was trapped in a pit of vipers ready to attack, but the vipers weren’t snakes at all, they were his memories of that night. All his rage and anger suddenly made so much more sense.
“They don’t,” I replied. “I guess they have to become someone else to survive it.”
Lola nodded sadly. “It’s quiet around here today, maybe you could keep me company,” she said. “I’m supposed to keep the men company, but they’re all super busy.” Her gaze went wistful. “They always seem to be super busy these days.”
My mouth went dry, my tongue flaccid in my mouth as I willed it to move so I could get my words out and ask some questions. Knowing more about what had happened to Beast didn’t help me. In fact, it only served to terrify me even more than I already was. But the more I tried to talk, to get my tongue to move, the more it refused to budge. I coughed, and then coughed some more, startling Lola into action. She slid off her stool and headed behind the bar quickly, popping the lid off a bottle of beer with the edge of the bar and handing it to me. I took it, drinking greedily.
“Thank you,” I finally gasped, wiping the back of my hand across my damp lips. “I needed that.” And I did. I longed to drink myself into oblivion so I could forget about the awful situation I was currently in. So I didn’t have to think about how there was no escaping my fate, or Beast’s—only delaying it.
