That’s what I was now—a goddamned pity fuck.
Women used to line themselves up at my door to get a piece of me and my dick, and now I was nothing but a freak.
Anger roared through me, igniting my veins and setting me on fire all over again. Only this hurt way more than just my body; this pain went down real deep.
“Get over here,” I barked, more than ready to show her what she’d been missing. I may have been a freak but I could still fuck, and I’d give her the best fuck of her life and send her packing. Make sure she told every damn woman out there that I still had it. She could close her eyes and think of whatever and whoever she liked, but when I was done with her I would be the only thing she’d ever want inside of her.
Lola turned back to me, her wide eyes trying not to lookat me. She smiled hesitantly and stumbled forward, like a baby deer learning to walk. When she reached the side of my bed, I reached out and grabbed her ass. Wearing tiny little denim hot pants didn’t leave much to the imagination, and I cupped the bottom of her ass cheeks and squeezed hard enough that she squealed.
“You like that?” I growled, and she nodded and tried to smile, but it was fake, all of it. Her fake tits, her fake lips, her fake lashes and fake hair, her fake nails and now a fake fucking smile to go along with it.
The anger in me bloomed.
I threw back the sheet, revealing my body to her. “Look at it,” I snarled, reaching up to the back of her neck and grabbing it before forcing her to look down at my broken fucking body.
It was like I’d been attacked by coyotes, teeth and claws taking their worth from me before chewing me up and spitting me back out. I was vile. I was hateful. I was ugly as sin and twice as dangerous.
“You like that, Lola?”
“Mmm hm,” she hummed, her eyes looking back up to my face, which was just as fucked up as the rest of me. Her gaze hesitated on the bandage wrapped round my head and I knew she was wondering what was beneath it.
“Touch me,” I ordered.
Her hand automatically reached out and took hold of my flaccid dick before she began running her hands up and down it. I let go of her neck and reached for her ass again, hoping to incite something inside of me to wake the fuck up. But there was nothing. Her touch was gentle yet firm, and she knew how to touch a man, but nothing happened and after several minutes she looked across at me hesitantly.
“Suck it,” I snapped. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You can’t even make me hard anymore!”
I laid the problem at her feet but we both knew it was me. She was doing everything right—she always did—but I couldn’t let her know that. I couldn’t let her know that I hadn’t gotten hard in months. That I hadn’t felt a single tingle of desire down there since before this happened to me. Wasn’t sure if it was psychological or physical, but my dick was fucking dead.
Lola leaned over and took my dick in her mouth, pushing the floppy, useless thing between her lips and sucking while playing with my balls. I reached around and cupped her ass, pushing between her cheeks so I could feel her pussy under my fingers, and she moaned. But it was fake, just like everything else. I wondered if it had always been this way. If she’d always faked it with me. She was a sweetbutt, and she was there to service the men, but I’d always assumed she enjoyed what she did. But now I was wondering if I was wrong.
“Suck it harder!” I yelled, feeling desperate.
I needed this to work. I needed at least one part of my body to fucking work like it should. I needed her to know that I was still a man. Hell,Ineeded to know that I was still a man! But there was just nothing. Not a twitch or a tingle. Just nothing.
“Get up here and fuck me!” I yelled, and Lola looked up sharply and then back down to my limp dick. “Now!” I ordered, feeling sick. Feeling angry. Feeling desperate.
She let go of me and shimmied out of her hot pants before climbing on the bed and straddling me. The bed dipped and moved and my body hurt from it all, but I would do this. I just needed to be in a woman again and it would be all right. My dick would come alive and I’d go off like a fucking rocket and it would all be okay.
“Beast.” She said my name hesitantly, confusion and disgust on her face. “You’re not…”
I grabbed my soft dick in my hand and held it as straight as I could for her to lower herself down on. I just needed to be inside of her and it would all be okay. One feel of her body wrapped around me, her juices sliding down my dick, and it would all be okay. I’d be me again.
“Tits out,” I ordered, and she reached up and pulled her little tank top thingy down, letting her tits out for me to see. Goddamn, fake or not, they were magnificent. They were every boy’s wet dream and every man’s fantasy. Lola was beautiful, perfect, but there was still nothing happening.
Lola started to lower herself down on me and I fumbled, pushing my limp dick inside of her. I was a big guy when hard—I’d almost gotten the road name “Hose” for how big I was—but right then it felt like a two-inch piece of string in my hand as I pushed and shoved to get it inside of her. Once inside, I reached around to touch her perfect tits, squeezing them in my hands, pulling on her nipples as she moved on me, rocking those little hips of hers back and forth over and over and willing my dick to come alive.
I could feel her—every muscle, every clench of her thighs; she was perfect, but the look on her face was the same: she was disgusted by me. And every thrust of her hips showed how disgusted she was as my dick flopped around in her, providing no satisfaction for either of us.
“You like that?” I growled, squeezing her tits. “Tell me you like it, Lola. Tell me.”
I was desperate.
I was disgusting.
I felt sick to my stomach watching this beautiful woman bounce around on top of me, her perfect body next to my broken one. My head spun, my dick stayed soft; if anything, it shrunk in on itself even more, and my muscles ached from being so tense.
“I love it, ughhh, yeah, Beast, yeah,” she cried out, bouncing up and down, rocking back and forth. Gotta give it to her, she was being a fucking trooper about it, but we both knew I was dead from the waist down and nothing she did was going to change that.
