Delores grabbed her purse from the floor of the car and retrieved her licence and registration. This had been silly, she realised, falling asleep here. But she’d been so damn tired it had been too hard to ignore the lure of sleep.
She’d been so careful up until now. But last night…yesterday had been an exhausting one. All those tears, all those damned feelings that she’d let out, exploding them across a perfect stranger. They had all taken their toll on her and she’d been too tired to find a proper motel. Too tired to keep going for another minute. She wound down her window and handed her details to the cop.
“Stay where you are, hands on the wheel where I can see them,” he ordered and walked back to his vehicle.
Delores watched him in the rear-view mirror and waited for the look of horror to cross his young face. She knew that any moment now it would flash up that she was wanted. It would show him her crime and signal her immediate arrest. She could handle that, she decided. She wasn’t scared of jail, she was only ashamed that yet again she had let Michael down.
He’d given her a window, an opportunity to try and do the right thing by them all, finally. He had even handed her the medication to do it. It was the chance to spare him the grief of a lengthy court case where their lives would be put on show, their marriage and home life turned into a monkey show for everyone to read about. The truth about her would come out.
How she had cheated on her husband.
How she had been miserable in her picture-perfect life.
How unstable she truly was, and to what end it had led her to.
He’d begged her to just go. To take the backpack he offered her and run. And when she could run no more…to do it.
And so she’d left.
Tears welled in her eyes as she watched the officer look up at her and then step out of his vehicle. He walked towards her slowly, and she swallowed down the bitter taste of regret and shame. Delores looked away from him, knowing what was going to come next. She’d come so far and Michael’s instructions had been clear.
But she had failed them all.
Again.
She had failed Michael.
And her beautiful children.
“Ma’am?”
“Yes?” the word came out quiet, almost a breath instead of a word.
“Can you step outside your vehicle for me?”
Delores nodded, swallowing slowly before opening the door and climbing out. She finally looked up and met the cop’s eyes, shame flushing her features.
“This is not an okay place to sleep. There is a motel not five miles from here,” he continued and Delores nodded slowly, confusion flaming her cheeks. “It really is dangerous to do this, but I get it.” He handed her back the licence and registration. “Sometimes it’s even more dangerous to try and drive those five miles. But look, I can see you’ve driven a long way. Please, next time when you start feeling tired, pull over sooner, okay?”
Delores nodded, feeling numb to his words and their meaning, still waiting for him to slap the cuffs on her.
“You be on your way now. If I see you out here again, I won’t go easy on you, do you understand?” he said with a knowing glance.
Delores nodded again, the breath caught in her throat as the young officer turned and began to walk back to his patrol car. He climbed in and started the engine before driving away with barely a backwards glance.
Delores stood mute, staring after him and wondering what had just happened. It should have flashed up on the police scanner. She should be in cuffs in the back of his car right now. Her head was banging noisily, the soft drumming of pain threading its way through her synapses.
*
Back on the road again, she continued to drive, faster than she would normally, but she was eager to get there. Getting pulled over by the cop had made her realise how stupid she’d been for coming all this way.
‘Why?’ She thought to herself.
Why did she need to come all this way to do it?
‘Because you’re a wicked woman, Del. And I want you far away from me when you do it.’
Michael’s voice sang in her head. And she trusted him. He always knew what was best for her. He’d promised her parents he’d always take care of her, despite her illness. And he had. It was her that had ruined it all.
