Was he aware his wife, the former queen, was having an affair?
An affair that lasted for years, through the birth of all three children?
“Mommy, I’m hungry.”
The queen laughs. “Little man, you’re always hungry. Probably because you’re growing like a weed and will one day be asbig and strong as Papa. But I’m hungry too so let’s go find us something yummy to eat.” She glances up at me. “Are you good with that?”
My eyebrows lift. This is the second time in a week someone from the royal family has asked my opinion on something. It’s a first in my life. Not even my father or Samil ever asked for my opinions or thoughts. I was simply there to do the only thing I could do. Learn, fight, kill, and survive. And occasionally be a silent set of ears to listen.
“Sounds lovely.”
“Zayer has a big sweet tooth, and so do I, but I think first we need some lunch. Something with some protein.”
She searches around before she stops on something. “Oh, they have calzones.”
I follow the direction of her gaze and see the vendor selling traditional calzones. “I can go get them for you, Your Majesty. That way, you and Prince Zayer can find a place to sit, and you can get off your feet.”
She touches my forearm, pulling me back to her. “That would be amazing, but please call me Bellamy. I understand it’s not your norm or custom, but you’re only a year older than I am. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you, but we live in the same palace, and truth be told, I’ve never had a girlfriend my age.”
“Neither have I,” slips out.
She nods in understanding, and something hot and liquid pools in my chest, making it difficult to take in a breath.
She laughs. “The only friend I ever really had was Charlotte, and she was a decade older than me and tried to kill me, so I don’t have the best track record with that sort of thing. But I’d really like to start getting past that and trust someone again.”
Guilt slams me once again, churning acid in my gut. It’sbecoming an all-too-familiar feeling lately. “I understand,” is all I can say.
“I’m glad. If you wouldn’t mind grabbing us three calzones, and possibly some waters, Zayer and I will go find the perfect place for us to eat them.”
“I’d be happy to, Bellamy.”
I get another smile, something she gives out easily and freely, and a squeeze to my forearm before she takes Zayer on their mission. She talks with him, asking him questions and pointing out things for them to look at and explore. And I realize I want everything she said. I want to be her friend. I want to be someone she can trust.
Sadness sits square on my shoulders, heavy and dragging, but I press through it.
I purchased the calzones using the money that was given to me before we set off this morning, though the owner of the stand tried more than once to give them to me for free since they’re for the queen and prince.
By the time I return, both of them look exhausted. Zayer climbs off Bellamy, walks around the table, and straight up into my lap. Just like that. It’s…adorable.
I unwrap his calzone for him, and he wastes no time digging in, not caring in the slightest if he’s covered in meat, cheese, or sauce.
“God, I’m starving.” Bellamy unwraps hers, and for a few minutes, we eat in comfortable silence. Well, comfortable for them. Tense for me. I can’t take my eyes off it. “You can ask,” she says, startling me with her directness. I hadn’t realized I was that obvious. Clearly, I keep fucking things up left, right, and center.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to stare, and I hope you don’t take it as rude. I’m simply curious about it, is all.”
“It’s fine. Really. You can ask.”
“Does it hurt?” I can’t help but question. It’s a long, diagonalslice across her neck, starting from beneath her chin to the center of her throat. It’s white and slightly indented. Hardly noticeable under most circumstances, but here in the direct sunlight, it’s a glaring reminder of the madness and heartbreak the king drove my brother to.
“No. It doesn’t hurt. Not anymore. It hurt like hell when it happened, and it hurt for a while after as it was healing. Now it’s just something…there. Something I see every day. A permanent reminder.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to?—”
“No, it’s okay. No one asks about it. It’s sort of the elephant in the room, and people don’t know what to do with it. They look, they don’t look, and they pretend they’re not looking. I’m just glad I didn’t know I was pregnant when he took me.”
“Why’s that?”
She picks at a piece of crust, tearing some of it away and popping it into her mouth, but she’s looking at Zayer on my lap, clearly making sure he’s preoccupied and not listening. “He told me he was going to k-i-l-l me. He was going to toss me out the window to the rocks a hundred or so feet below. That my body would be unrecognizable, so he could torture me a bit first, and no one would know. They’d think I jumped.”
