I was sitting at dinner with Killian and his grandfather. "So," the old man said, "when should I expect the wedding?"
I nearly choked on my wine. Killian groaned. "Grandpa—"
"I'm just asking," the old man smiled. "A man my age needs something to look forward to. And you two... you've got that look."
"What look?" Killian asked.
"The look I had for your grandmother. The one that says you've already decided. You're just waiting for the other one to catch up."
Killian's ears turned red. It was endearing.
"And grandkids," his grandfather continued. "I'd like to see at least one before I go."
I played along. "Don't worry. We’re going to practice a lot making those grandkids you want."
Killian's head snapped toward me. His grandfather beamed. "That's my girl."
Later that night, I found Killian on the veranda. The moon was silver, and the air smelled of jasmine. I walked up behind him. "I used to count the stars through that frosted glass," I said softly. "I told myself if I ever got out, I’d never look at a ceiling again. But I like air conditioning and soft beds too much." I sighed. "You did more than just open a door, Killian. You gave me back my life. I don't think I’ll be able to thank you enough."
He turned to me.
"But I can be useful to you," I continued. "I know you agreed to the wedding because it’s what your grandpa wants. I’m not opposed to helping with the optics. We can play the part. Convincingly. No babies, though. I’ll stay here as long as he wants."
"And after?" he asked, his jaw tightening.
"I’m not ready to be someone’s wife or mother. I just got my life back, Killian. I haven’t even lived it yet." I let that sit before softening it. "I know you feel some type of way about how I used you. But I feel what's between us. That doesn't mean I don't... want you."
His eyes dropped to my mouth.
"But if we do this, it has to be on my terms. I want the world, Killian. I want to stand in Paris. I want to see Greece and Japan. I want to be free before I belong to anyone again."
I watched his face, expecting a nod. Instead, I saw a flicker of disappointment.
"Killian? Don't tell me that in the span of a few weeks, you actually went and fell in love with me."
I wanted him to smirk. He didn't. He looked at me with an intensity that made the wine in my system feel like lead.
"No," he said, his voice flat and cold.
He straightened up and pulled away so abruptly I almost lost my balance. He didn't look back. He simply walked into the house, the heavy glass door clicking shut behind him. I stood there as the humid air suddenly felt freezing. I felt a physical sting of guilt—but not enough to give up the world I’d just found. I wanted him, but I wantedmejust as much. I just had no way to say it without it sounding like a betrayal.
Chapter 30: Killian
“She said, ‘I don’t want marriage or kids right now. I want to be free.’”
What I heard was:You were a phase. A means to an end. I’m almost done with you.
I laughed, the sound hollow in the quiet of the room. I shoved my head further back into my pillow, staring up at the intricate crown molding of the ceiling.
“I’m a fucking character in her survival story,” I muttered to the shadows. The thought tasted like copper.
I drifted into a light, restless sleep, the sound of the rain lulling me.
"Killian."
I heard Chloe whisper my name, and for a minute I thought everything that had happened in the past few days had been a dream—that we were back in that house and she’d snuck in through the window. I forced my tired eyes open and immediately wished I hadn’t.
Chloe was standing at the edge of the bed. Naked. Posed. Not shy about it, either. Moonlight laid itself across her skin, making something molten out of her. I had seen her like this before, but I don’t think I would ever get over the shock of it.
