I am in a safe place. It certainly feels like that, and Joseph is a phantom, existing in the shadows.
There is no sound at all, no words of reassurance, and I’m good with that because there is also no judgment.
After a while, he whispers, “Is that why you were afraid to leave the convent?”
“I was safe there.”
“And here. Do you feel safe here?”
I think of my attic room, the black room, and the impressive house below it. The silent guards and the demon at my shoulder.
“In here I do, but not out there.”
He says nothing, and I’m surprised when he strokes my hair with his fingers, gently and with care, and it feels kind of nice.
“Why did you put me in the attic, Joseph? Were you being deliberately cruel?”
It’s something that’s bothered me since I came here, and his answer shocks me to my soul.
“I wanted it to feel like home, angel. You didn’t want to leave the convent. I figured there was a reason for that, so I placed the Bible by your bed for comfort, reassurance if you like.”
“You did?”
Fresh tears replace stale ones, and he carries on stroking.
“You discovered this room, and I kind of thought you might benefit from it. That is why I allowed you to enter. We are the only two people who have.”
“And Su Yin.”
“Yes, of course.”
“You told me you would show me what she does to you in here.”
“This, angel.”
“So, she’s a therapist?”
His low chuckle is at odds with the person he is.
“My demons are many, angel. She has a huge job to do where I am concerned. No, talking isn’t enough. My problems lie way deeper than that.”
“Show me.”
I am determined to peer inside his soul, and he whispers against my ear, “You are not ready to deal with my demons when you haven’t triumphed over yours.”
I’m surprised when he plants a soft kiss on my lips and then whispers, “You must be hungry. Come, we will eat and then we have a visit to make.”
Why am I disappointed that this is where this ends?
“A visit?”
“Your grandfather.”
He removes the blindfold and sets about unchaining me from the bench, and as I sit up, I don’t even care that I’m naked. It somehow feels natural in this room—with him and I wonder about that.
“Why are we going to visit him? I’ve never met him, and he never made any effort to contact me?”
I’m salty about that, and Joseph grasps my hand, pulling me from the bench.
