Shutting me out, carrying on in his cold, impersonal world, allowing me the occasional glimpse of the man behind the enigmatic smile.
As I tiptoe out of the shower, the towel wrapped around me, a door slams downstairs, causing me to jump. Voices and then footsteps alert my curiosity, and my heart races as I tiptoe to the edge of the staircase and peer down.
Joseph is heading upstairs, and my heart crashes and burns when I notice Su Yin slightly in front of him. There is no guessing needed as to where they are heading, and my tears blind me as I come to terms with the fact he will always need her.
I am not enough, and it’s obvious that she was his first thought when he returned home. In some ways, I shouldn’t be surprised because of what just happened. He shot a woman’s hand clean off with cold dispassion.
It was a lot, a terrible experience, and once again it reminds me, the ghosts will never leave him all the time he makes new ones.
They head to the black room, and my heart thumps as the door closes behind them, and tears blind my eyes as I sit on the top step, my teeth chattering not from the cold but through anxiety.
I am not enough for him.
This is my life now.
Three people are in this marriage, and there probably always will be.
I wait for the screams, the pain, the torment, but instead the click of the door causes my heart to thump.
Footsteps on the staircase, heels. The gentle click of purpose heading my way.
There is no time to flee to my room, and as Su Yin rounds the corner, our eyes meet for the first time.
I am still in my towel, my wedding ring my only adornment, and her enigmatic smile causes me to freeze like an animal in headlights.
“I, um–”
“Mrs. Ravera.”
She half-bows with respect.
“I am Su Yin. I am very pleased to meet you.”
“Um, same.”
My mind is thrashing wildly inside my head because what is happening? This is different.
I’m shocked when she points to the space beside me on the top step and as she sits, I shuffle along a little.
“I am sorry to ask this of you, but I could use your help.”
“My help?”
I’m shocked, and she nods, her usual enigmatic smile revealing nothing at all.
“Joseph is a complicated man with extremely difficult demons to control. We have tried many things since we began our association, and I believe the time has come to try something new.”
I wait for her to speak, my thoughts not appropriate on this occasion, and she smiles in a mysterious way.
“Please, I have requested your presence in our session. It is important that you share what happens in there.”
“Is it?”
I’m strangely nervous. “Won’t I be intruding?”
“How can you intrude in your home, Mrs. Ravera, and I’m not talking about the house?”
She smiles. “You are married - his wife. There should be nothing between you, no secrets and no fears. It’s time for Joseph to move away from his past, and he can’t do it alone.”
