That word cuts through the silence and has its intended effect. It shuts me up before I can even get the thought clear of my lips.
“I trusted you.”
She stands slowly, placing her mug down on the table.
“Blue—”
“No,” she snaps, still managing to keep her voice quiet. “You don’t get to interrupt until I’m done, West. I trusted you.”
She takes a step towards me, and my breath comes quicker.
“You told me you were trying. You told me you’re working on being better. You told me to come to you if he tried anything, and I fucking… trusted you!”
Her voice cracks and knowing her pain is my fault fucks me up inside.
“I did what you asked, I came to you with what happened, and your first thought was to go to his house and beat the living shit out of him?”
“I didn’t go over there to fight,” I explain. “But the shit he said to me? I couldn’t let it go. I tried to walk away, but…”
“So, someone talking shit gave you permission to put yourself on the line? Putuson the line? And if you hadn’t rushed out of here like a madman, if you’d listened to me when Ipleadedwith you to stay, none of this would’ve happened.”
Anger fills her expression and she shakes her head.
“I mean, did none of it cross your mind even for a second? Everything you have to lose? Your career? Your reputation? Your shoulder? Everything we’ve fought to build?”
She takes a few steps away, then comes back.
“And you seriously thoughtSeth Groveswas worth throwing all that away?”
Silence. I can only stare at her. I knew she’d be pissed, but I don’t think I allowed myself to think of how hurt she’d be.
“The part that scared me the most wasn’t that you hit him or that the story is all over the internet. It’s that, when you get like this, I hardly know who you are. Hardly know what you’re capable of.”
That hits me square in my chest, and I let it live there because this is what I deserve. But as I wrestle with everythingshe’s laying at my feet, words tumble out before I’m actually ready to release them.
“He said you’ve been telling him things. About us,” I admit softly.
Her head snaps up. “What?”
“He said you told him things have been bad. Told him you’re miserable with me.”
Hearing those words again, even leavingmy ownmouth, cuts deep.
A quick, sharp laugh puffs from her lips. “You’ve known me since we were practically kids West. Do you honestly think I’d confide in him about us?”
I don’t answer, and her expression shifts from disbelieving to deepening hurt.
“Wow,” she says under her breath, crossing both arms over her chest. “Didn’t realize I’d ever have to defend myself on this but, for the record, I’ve never, andwouldnever, confide in Seth or any other man about our marriage, West. Anything he claims to know about us is because Pandora’s made a whole fucking circus out of our lives.”
She pauses to breathe, and I don’t blink watching her.
“I would never undermine what we’ve built by giving him access to us like that. Never.”
My stomach twists into a knot as that sinks in.
“I’m exhausted,” she says, and her voice breaks again. “Every time I think we’re moving forward, something happens,and it’s like the rug gets ripped out from underneath me. I just… I can’t.”
She turns to walk away, turns to leave me like she’s not the air in my lungs, and I reach for her. My fingers cuff her wrist, and she spins to face me.
