My stomach twists into a knot as the weight of everything settles on me.
“I think we need to see someone. A marriage counselor.”
He’s silent again, and I know he doesn’t want to even think about that, but I believe we’ve reached a critical fork in the road. One where we either decide to take responsibility for the current state of our relationship and allow someone to guide us. Or we can choose to be stubborn, convincing ourselves that we can fix this alone, only to learn we don’t have the right tools.
“Okay,” he says, and I wait, thinking he’ll say more, but nothing.
Just ‘okay’.
That’s it.
So, I guess it’smyturn to speak again.
“And… I meant what I said about reaching out to Dr. Tyler, putting a pause on treatment. Now’s probably not the best time. Considering…”
My voice trails off, and I literally hate this. Everything about it. When I imagined our life together, there was an ease to it. In that vision, we had a kid already, with another on the way. Our evenings were a little chaotic between getting dinner on the table and getting our little one to bed, but it wasfunchaos.Goodchaos. Then, once the house was quiet and it was just the two of us, we’d settle on the couch in each other’s arms to just…be.
There was nothing in that fantasy that looked likethis,though—emotional nights where our hearts are in limbo, words going unspoken because we’ve become so fragile.
“You’re wrong.”
West’s words cut through the silence, and my gaze shifts to him. “About?”
He pushes a hand through his dark hair as he sighs. “You implied that you’re some kind of burden to me, but I could never think that. When I hurt my shoulder, you were the one who took care of me, Blue. Day and night. And I wasn’t exactly an easy patient,” he adds with a soft laugh.
The sound sends a feeling of warmth rushing through me.
“My point is, we vowed to take care of each other. In every way imaginable. And that’s what we do. That’s what we willalwaysdo.”
My heart squeezes inside my chest, and my breathing deepens. For so many reasons, I needed to hear him say that.
He shifts until he’s sitting sideways on the edge of the bed, and our eyes lock through the darkness. I go willingly when he tugs me toward him, bringing me into his arms.
“We’ll do counseling, we’ll pause the treatment, and we’ll focus on us for a while.” His arms tighten around me. “I’m also giving you my word that I’ll do better.”
I let myself melt into him, like I’ve wanted to do so many times tonight, and the tears are flowing again.
“I’m scared,” I admit, squeezing his neck just a little tighter.
“I know, but… we’ll be okay.”
That promise rings in my thoughts for several seconds. Having West’s reassurance used to be enough, but that was before.
Before this new version of us showed up.
We cling to one another, like we’re holding on for dear life. Maybe we are. Because all around, circling like sharks drawn in by the scent of blood in the water, is the threat of failure.
And honestly?
I’ve never been more terrified.
Chapter Three
BLUE
Over the soundtrack of Seth’s crew hard at work in the background, he’s giving me the rundown on all the updates. Things like the roofers being halfway done, some kind of delay with the electrical work, and the tile for the bathroom being on backorder. As we take slow steps through what will eventually be the reading room, I completely zone out.
Thoughts about last night have lingered with me all day. Mostly, I’ve been hyper-fixated on Pandora pointing out tothe entire countrythat I’m the reason our family hasn’t grown. Now, because intrusive thoughts are a bitch, I’m connecting dots I hadn’t before. Dots that point toward all mine and West’s problems circling back to me.
