As it stands, it feels like everything—all of it—is my fault.
Adding to the mix of emotions, I left a message with Dr. Tyler’s office this morning, and when I hear back from him, that’ll be it. West and I will have officially put our dream of being parents on a temporary hold.
At least, Ihopeit’s temporary.
“You okay?”
Seth’s question brings me back to the present, and I force a smile, pretending I’m here in this moment and not someplace else.
“I’m fine.” Another forced smile. Another lie.
His head tilts, and when he tucks his clipboard underneath his arm, I know he’s about to push.
“Ok, so we haven’t known each other long, but I’ve definitely learned that you have a tell.”
“Atell?”
He nods, smiling a little. Then, he points down to where my hands are clenched into fists at my sides. “You do…that. When you’re upset or stressed.”
Having him call attention to it, I unclench my hands, pursing my lips together.
Seth drops his shoulder against the door frame, keeping his eyes trained on me as he hooks both thumbs through the belt loops of his jeans.
“You know, I pride myself on being an excellent listener. It’d be a shame for you not to take advantage of that.”
His smile broadens and, while I appreciate his concern, discussing our personal lives isn’t why he was hired. So, despite the kind offer, I push my emotions down as far as I can.
“You’re just picking up on my lack of sleep,” I lie again. “I couldn’t seem to get comfortable last night, so I mostly tossed and turned. I’m all good, though.”
He studies me a bit longer, and when his smile slips, I’m immediately suspicious. Curiosity must’ve gotten the best of him, and he took the plunge, downloaded Pandora’s app so he’s not so out of the loop. If that’s true, he’s likely scrolled and caught up on all the gossip about not only West and I, but our friends, too.
Whichalsomeans… he caught last night’s post.
Perfect.
Suddenly uncomfortable, I let my gaze slip to the floor.
“Well, if you ever change your mind, you have my number.”
His choice of phrasing renders me silent for a moment, mostly because Scar and West’s suspicions of Seth pop into my head. But then, they’re gone, and I offer a smile.
“I appreciate it.”
Seth sighs as he pushes off from the door frame. “Of course.” His gaze lifts toward the ceiling. “Once the roof is complete, we’ve got a few repairs to make in the ductwork, then we can get the painter out here to get it all sprayed. You want it black, right?”
I nod, grateful we’ve gone back to focusing on the center instead of me. “Yep, I think that’ll be perfect.”
Seth makes a quick note on his clipboard.
“So, we’re still on schedule?” I ask.
“I usually leave a cushion in the timeline for the unexpected, but so far, we haven’t needed to eat into that very much. So, not making any promises, of course, but it’s possible we could even finishaheadof schedule.”
Hearing this lifts my spirits, which I definitely need today. “You really think so?”
He smiles, matching my energy. “I do. And I know there’s more to getting this place up and running than getting thebuilding back in order, so now might be a good time to tighten up whatever list you have.”
At the mention of a list, I do a mental run-through of mine—staffing, stocking the reading room with new books, finalizing the furniture selections being gifted by the Ruiz family, the social media push to raise awareness of the center’s eventual grand opening. And this is just a small snapshot of what needs to be done.
