I could have tried harder.
But so could she.
And whether Cole will befinewith Cece isn’t really the point.Fineis a shitty baseline.
I don’t want him to be fine.
I want him to thrive. And I believe he will, eventually, with me and Jordan.
Jordan takes my hand. “You wanna go walk around or sit somewhere? What do you need?”
“I don’t know. A fucking drink? They serve liquor in this place, or is that frowned upon?”
She laughs softly.
I sober. “Let’s go walk around for a few minutes. I need to get out of this courtroom.”
“Sounds good to me.”
She follows me through the cluster of people clogging the doorway. We find an empty bench not far from the courtroom and sit.
“God, this is intense,” Jordan says. “Makes me feel for every parent who goes through a divorce. Especially when it isn’t amicable.”
My brow lifts. “No shit.” I let out a heavy exhale. “Christ, I feel like I can’t take a full breath.”
I tug at my tie, suddenly claustrophobic as shit. Sweat beads at my forehead, my pulse ticking faster. I yank my hand from Jordan’s and rub my palms against my pants. “Fuck,” I mutter. “I’m sweating.”
Jordan looks at me and I meet her gaze.
“Hey,” she says gently.
Her eyes are calm, strong, anchoring me from the panic climbing up my throat. “We’ve done all we can do. Freaking out won’t help. And babe—” She slides her hand onto my back, rubbing slow circles. “You’ve done good.We’vedone good. Whatever happens now… it was meant to be. And we’ll deal with it. Just like we always do.”
The corner of my mouth lifts.
How?
How did I get so damn lucky to have her in my life?
She gives a soft smile. “This is the kind of thing you’re good at, babe. Showing up. Not quitting. You’re gonna make it out of this just fine, no matter how today ends. And if you’ve taught Cole anything over the past twelve years, it’s this. Resilience. You should be proud. I am.” She pauses, eyes watering. “And I know Nate would be, too,” she whispers.
My heart pulses at the base of my throat, making it hard to swallow. Christ, she always says the right thing. She knows me. She’s intuitive. Nurturing. And those qualities alone will make her an incredible mother. Whether it’s only to Cole or also to our own children one day… one thing’s for damn sure. She’ll kick ass at it.
I pull her into me and kiss her temple. “Thanks, babe,” I murmur. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too,” she says.
People start filing back into the courtroom, and I glance at my watch.
“We better get back in there.”
We both stand and head to our seats, stealing a quick kiss before parting ways. I slide into my chair beside Jerry and glance around for Cole, but he hasn’t come back in. I try my best to steady myself—my pulse, my breathing, the goddamn sweat accumulating under my shirt.
The judge walks into the room and the bailiff stands. “All rise,” he says.
Everyone stands as the judge makes her way to the bench. I can’t help but admire the power she carries—how everyone’s gaze follows her, how the room goes silent.
“You may all be seated,” she says with an authority even I’m envious of.
