Next weekend.
The final hearing.
The day the court decides if I’m fit to be a father for Cole, and seals his fate and ours.
I frown. I’ve tried not to think about it, but it’s impossible. It’s pretty much the only thing on my mind these last few days.
“I’m not sure. I feel a lot of things about it. But I’m trying not to get wrapped up in my thoughts because there’s nothing we can do.”
The thought of Cece getting guardianship makes my stomach twist—sharp, stabbing pain, like a knife driven deep beyond the flesh.
She squeezes my hand. “Yeah,” she says softly. “What’s the plan if you don’t get it?”
“We,” I say, my voice low and gruff.
I look at her.Christ,those eyes. A calm washes over me, loosening the tightness lodged in my stomach.
She smiles. “We,” she repeats.
“If we don’t get it, I guess we just carry on like we’ve been doing. I’ll be his godfather like I always have been. Hope Cece lets us see him a few times a year.”
She nods, but doesn’t say anything. Just sits in the discomfort of that very real possibility with me.
Chapter Forty-Nine
MATT
My gaze wandersto Cole and Jordan for the hundredth time. They’re in the spectator seats.
My stomach’s twisted in knots, my palms are sweaty, and even still, I can’t help but smile every time I look at them together. Cole’s been whispering to Jordan throughout the whole thing, and Jordan keeps glancing at the judge before leaning in, cupping his ear, and whispering back. She catches me watching them and smiles. Then she kisses her fingers and subtly turns them toward me. I swear to God it eases some of the pressure.
“We’ll take a brief recess. I’d like to speak with Cole in my chambers,” the judge announces.
The courtroom breaks into a bustle of movement, hushed voices, people standing.
Jerry leans in. “This is important,” he murmurs. “At his age, his voice carries weight.” He claps me on the back. “I’m going to use the restroom, then I’ll be right back here in case the judge needs me. Be back in your seat in twenty minutes.”
He stands, and so do I, heading toward Jordan and Cole.
I hold out a fist to Cole as the guardian ad litem steps in to escort him to the judge’s chambers.
“Hey, buddy,” I say.
His eyes light up. “Hey, Matt,” he says, giving me bones before walking toward the door.
Jordan meets me with a kiss, her hands sliding along my biceps.
“How you holding up?” Her eyes search mine. “I think it’s going well,” she adds with a small smile.
“Thanks, babe. I’m fine. Not sure how I feel. I think I expected a little more from the guardian ad litem, but he seemed… neutral. Like Cole would be fine either way.”
“Yeah,” she agrees, her lips drawing into a line. “That was… disappointing.”
I let that settle. Technically, hewouldbe okay either way.
I glance at Cece. She’s talking frantically with her lawyer, emotion written all over her face.
I know she’d take good care of him. I do. She’s not evil. She’s been good to Cole. He’s told me things that make me wonder if, all this time, we’ve just misunderstood each other. Christ, it’s so stupid—how we’ve let old shit dictate everything.
