What if he slept with another woman again for information? What if he fell in love with someone else and returned to a brothel? What if I couldn’t please him, like I couldn’t please my husband?
I shook my head and washed away my tears. A headache formed, so I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself.
I didn’t know what to do.
I wasn’t sure when I fell asleep.
I woke up to the noise of everyday chaos and the tinkling anklet bells of attendants rushing through the corridors.
My eyes flew open, and I hurried to take a bath and freshen up. I was already late.
I hurriedly bathed, changed into a regular dress, and headed to Nandani’s chamber. The sun was shining directly overhead, and my head throbbed.
The conversation we had the previous night kept replaying in my mind.
I entered Nandani’s chamber and saw her sitting on the couch with Ranaji.
“Pranaam, Ranaji and Rani-sa,” I said, joining my hands, and she smiled at me.
“How are you?” she asked, and I gulped silently, nodding as I tried to respond.
“I’m good,” I finally said.
I watched them having lunch as she continued,“The sunlight is nice today. I’m planning to bathe Rudraja. Can you give her a massage with oil? She’s outside with her Kaako-sa.”
My brows furrowed slightly, but I nodded.“Okay,” I replied.
I walked away and asked an attendant to bring me the baby massage oil before heading to the courtyard, where the baby was enjoying her sunbath.
I saw the princess lying on the carpet, wrapped in her baby comforter and velvet dress, with Kunwar Agastya hovering over her, speaking to her.
“Aww, my baby,” I heard him exclaim, and the princess squealed, reaching for his face.
Lowering my gaze, I walked toward them silently, and suddenly, he lifted his gaze, noticing me.
His gaze softened as he looked at me.“Kaisi ho?”“How are you?”
I knelt to place the massage oil beside him, trying not to meet his eyes.
“Good,” I replied softly, remaining silent.
There was a slight uncertainty between us, and I couldn’t understand why I felt different. Why did I feel trapped?
I had happily lived the last seven years without a man, and suddenly this man was making me feel everything I had feared feeling.
“Nandani asked me to massage the princess,” I said, and he inhaled deeply, shifting away from her.
“Oh, okay,” he said.
I looked at the princess, smiling at me.
“Enjoying your sunbath, Princess?” I whispered, leaning in to caress her cheek. She smiled and turned to look at Kunwar-sa, squealing again.
She wanted him there.
“I should probably go,” he said, and I didn’t know what I wanted.
“It's okay, you can stay,” I said slowly, lifting my gaze to look at him.
