~*~
Chapter sixteen
JUDE GRAVES
Micah’s sprawled across the bed when I walk in, one arm flung behind his head, the TV flickering blue against the walls.
“How’d it go?” he asks, voice half-bored, half-curious.
I drop my keys on the nightstand. “It was...amazing.”
He turns his head toward me. “So what’s the problem? Because you look like shit.”
I rake a hand through my hair. “The problem is, I don’t know what the fuck to do. If it weren’t for Adriana or Nolan, I’d scoop her up and run away somewhere.Anywhere.”
Micah exhales, eyes back on the TV. “Careful, man. They’ve got Portland this weekend. Who knows what they’re going to makeus do. Hopefully not...” he trails off, but I know what he means. Adriana and some bitch assaulted us while we were high as fuck last time. I wish I could say that doesn’t happen a lot. But it does.
My throat tightens. “Yeah. I know. I’ll try to throw her off. Pretend I’m sick or some shit. I don’t want to sleep with her anymore, not when Emma is...” I sigh, rubbing my eyes. “I don’t know what she is to me.”
Micah grins at me, and it’s a kind expression that makes my heart swell. “Yeah, you do.”
I swallow hard with a nod and turn towards the bathroom. Ishower to clear my head, but the water only stings.
By the time I step out, Micah’s asleep, the TV still murmuring a late-night commercial. I shut it off and climb into bed beside him. My chest feels heavy. I close my eyes and drift to a place deep in my mind.
~ A memory ~
The movie’s only half playing in the background, some old comedy we’ve both seen too many times. Emma’s laugh keeps stealing the scene anyway. She’s curled up beside me on my bed, her head on my chest, a bowl of popcorn balanced between us. My parents went out for date night, leaving us the house to ourselves.
Mom had kissed Emma’s cheek on her way out and told her she loved her. Dad just chuckled and said, “You’ll always be family, sweetheart.”
They mean it. They adore her. Hell, Mom takes her out for lunch sometimes without even telling me. The two of them will come back gossiping and laughing about how one day, when I finally “made it,” I’d take them both shopping with my music money. I laugh it off, but looking at Emma now, with her hairbraided loosely to the side, my hoodie drowning her small frame, I realize I’ll buy her the whole damn world if I could.
She shifts closer, her fingers tracing lazy patterns across my stomach through my t-shirt. Her hair smells like coconut, and that vanilla lotion she’s bought since I’ve known her.
“Jude,” she says quietly, eyes flicking up to mine. “You’re not even watching.”
“Can you blame me?” I grin, running my hand through her hair. “You’re a way better view.”
She scoffs, the sound soft and bright. She reaches up, tugging on my shirt until I lean down. The kiss starts out playful, just the brush of her lips against mine. But then it deepens, slower and heavier. Her hand slides to my jaw, thumb tracing the corner of my mouth.
Every nerve in me lights up. The movie fades, the whole world narrows to her breath against my lips, her heartbeat pressed to mine. When I shift, tucking her beneath me, she doesn’t pull away. She just looks up at me, lips parted, chest heaving slightly.
“Oh, wait!” she exclaims suddenly, reaching over to retrieve something from her purse.
“What?” I ask, desperate for her to come back so I can taste her some more.
She shakes her container of birth control pills. “Can’t forget these.”
I roll my eyes as she takes a tiny white pill. We haven’t had sex yet. Any time we’ve gotten close, I’ve controlled myself. I don’t want her to feel rushed or pressured since it will be her first time. I’m not much more experienced, honestly. Just once with Kacey Grimwald in some stranger’s bedroom at a house party. Which I regret.
She pulls my face to hers again, and I can feel her smile against my lips. “I want you, Jude.” And then her tongue sweeps in, her body arching against mine.
I break away from the kiss, my brows pulling together. “Em, are you sure?”
“When else are we left alone?” she says with a mischievous grin.
A chuckle escapes me. “Is that youronlyreason?”
