“This isn’t funny, JP.” I swung the pillow at his face, which he easily caught.
He tried his best to sober his smile. “I’m sorry, it’s not. To be honest, the baby is currently probably the size of a lemon right now.”
“This lemon is making me barf an awful lot,” I grumbled. “No clue why they call it morning sickness when it’s actually all day sickness.” I rolled my eyes.
His eyebrows pinched together. “Is that normal?”
My eyes flashed to his. “Yeah, right?”
His mouth opened, but no words came out.
“Wait, it’s not? You think that’s bad?” My voice went pitchy with nerves. “You’re making me nervous.”
He shook his head. “No, no, I’m sure it’s okay, you’re okay,” he said, but his face wasn’t very convincing. “Have you asked the doctor?”
“Doctor? What doctor?” I practically shrieked at him. “I just found out! I know just as much as you.” My face fell.Oh no. I literally knew just as much as him, meaning, absolutely nothing.“Oh my God. We’re doomed.”
“No, no, no, it’s okay,” he tried to reassure me. “Let’s just askColt, yeah?”
“Ugh.” I grabbed a pillow and shoved it over my face for a second, trying to squelch my frustration. I lowered it only to ask, “Can he keep a secret?”
He grimaced. “Better than Kappy. At least he’ll lie to us that he will.”
“Whatever.” I swallowed hard. “Just ask him for their baby doctor and tell him to keep his mouth shut.”
He was out of bed and crossing the room for his phone before I even finished my sentence. JP put his phone on speaker and the dial tone filled the air.
“Dude, it’s fucking early,” Colt answered in a groggy morning voice. “What happened to you yesterday? You completely disappeared.”
“I need some help,” JP said, smoothing a hand over his hair.
“Uh, yeah, what’s up?”
“Is it normal for pregnant women to barf all day long or is that supposed to be a morning thing?”
“Uhh…I think Mer barfed all day for the first tri and then maybe a little into the second one, too. Why?” Colt laughed. “You didn't get a girl pregnant, did you?”
JP’s eyes locked on mine. “Can you just get me the name of Mer’s baby doctor?”
“Oh, fuck! You did, didn’t you?” Colt burst out. JP closed his eyes. “Well, who is it?” he asked. “I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone. Wait, are you seeing someone? Or was it a one-night stand? Dude, what did you get yourself into? Do you need instructions on how to use a condom?” He laughed.
“I did use a…” JP cut himself off with a frustrated growl. His eyes mine, silently asking me if he could tell. I reluctantly nodded.
“Just keep this between us, but Ali’s pre—”
“Ali?!” Mer’s voice shrieked.
My hands flew to my head. JP’s eyes bulged out.
“Am I on speakerphone? Fuck, Colt.” JP dropped his head.
“Sorry, it’s notmyfault. I didn’t know you were gonna blurt it out like that!” Colt argued, sounding much more awake now.
JP shot me an apologetic grimace. “Just don’t tell anyone.”
“Okay, well, shit. Congrats man. You and Ali, huh? That’s a long time coming. But wait, didn’t you just see her yesterday? I’m not too smart, but are you sure you’re the—”
“I saw her in July. Can we get back on track?” JP’s jaw flexed with irritation.
