“July? What? How did we not know?” Colt laughed. “Wait, Mer wants to ask a bunch of questions.”
“No,” JP growled. “We just need the name of Mer’s doctor. Can you get it for us or not?”
“Jeez, touchy, okay,” Colt chided before rattling off the needed information.
As soon as JP got off the phone with Colt, he was dialing up the doctor’s office. JP answered each question about me without missing a beat, including my birthday and the approximate date of conception. It was only when the nurse asked for insurance that JP’s eyes flitted to mine for a brief second, and my heart pretty much fell through my ass.
How the hell was I going to do this?
Turning away from him, I slowly walked into the marble bathroom in a daze. I laid my head against the door to break down in peace for a minute.
How was it that I still had no clue what I was doing? And now I had no job and nowhere to live, and I was bringing a child into this mess. I gave up any and all dreams of becoming a mom a while ago, so I never thought to prepare for this specific scenario. And I couldn’t just rely on JP, because as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t trust him not to blindside me again. Each time I thought I was on steady ground with him, he’d get spooked and pull the carpet from under my feet.
After catching sight of my red swollen eyes in the mirror, I decided there was no way I was going back out to the bedroom. Instead, I quickly stripped off my dress from yesterday and stepped into JP’s luxurious walk-in shower.
It took me a second to figure out how to turn on the state-of-the-art shower, but when I did, water came out of three different shower heads, making it feel like I was walking into a waterfall.
Okay, Ali, you’ve been in worse positions before,I tried telling myself under the hot streams of water. I just had to get my shit together. I’d start applying for rink jobs. Then again, would anyone even hire me?Hans would’ve. He definitely would’ve. And that thought had more tears springing to my eyes. If I couldn’t find a new home rink in Chicago, I’d have no choice but to go back to Centre Ice in Michigan and live with my parents. I acted all tough yesterday when I talkedabout Michigan, but just the thought of going back there had a sob escaping my body. I wanted so badly to go home to my family, but I couldn’t risk it. I couldn't risk Mark finding me.
My thoughts were interrupted when the glass door of the shower flew open, making me shriek and chuck the body wash bottle straight ahead.
JP hissed and rubbed his forehead.
My hands went to my mouth in shock.
When his eyes met mine, they rounded with apology, and he no longer looked like the rough and tough NHL player with a neck tatt who dumped me, but instead, the shy young version of himself that was my best friend.
“I’m sorry, I knocked,” he said as an excuse. “You just looked so freaked, and then I heard you crying, and I just…” He shook his head. “I don’t want you to be crying by yourself. You’re not in this alone, Ali.”
I tried to talk, I tried to say something, anything at all, but instead, my shoulders dropped and he blurred in front of me.
He stepped fully into the shower with his boxers still on and pulled me into his arms for a hug.
I should’ve pushed him out. I should’ve yelled at him. I should’ve done anything other than completely collapse against him.
“Shh, it’s okay, it’s all going to be okay,” he whispered. “I promise.”
I’m not sure how long we stood there, but when I finally had no tears left and my body stopped shaking, I realized what I was doing—I was quite literally clinging to him. As grateful as I was for his comfort, I needed to stop accepting it. We werenottogether, and we couldn’t be. We couldn't be wrapped up in our unstablewhat-are-wedrama when a baby was literally coming.
Sucking in a shaky breath, I forced myself to take a little step back from him even though my body screamed at me to stay wrapped up in him forever. While I always loved being near him, the urge was so much stronger now.
“Stupid hormones,” I muttered, wiping my face.
His forehead creased with concern. “What’s that?” Even though I was completely naked in front of him, his eyes never drifted from mine.
“Nothing, never mind.” I blew out a sigh. “I shouldn’t be crying, I just feel stupid now,” I shuddered, keeping my eyes on his chest. Ialready felt too vulnerable standing in front of him, there’s no way I could look up at his face. “I don’t want to depend on you, or anyone for that matter. I’m just feeling very lost right now.”
“Ali,” he said softly. “Look at me.”
After a beat, I reluctantly listened.
“I want you here,” he said. “Living alone kind of sucks, so I like the company.” The corner of his lips slightly lifted. “And I’m serious, you’re not alone in this, okay? It’s not like you got yourself pregnant.”
“Yeah,” I snorted a pathetic laugh and nodded, but in the back of my mind, I knew I needed to figure out a long-term solution.
“Would it make you feel better if I said I also feel kind of lost?”
“No.” I hiccupped. “This baby has to have at least one parent who knows what they’re doing. I haven’t even held a baby in, like, a decade.”
