“Damn,” I said, plopping on the rink bench and staring at the empty wake my friends left.
Kappy and Piper were married.
So, that just left…me.
I mean, I’d known that for a while—that it was just me. But now it was official. Kappy and Colt were both married. They were both moving on with their lives. And I was just…here, trapped in the same spot year after year.
I was stuck.
And just like clockwork, whenever I thought of marriage, I thought of Ali.
Back in July, I tried to find her before leaving the cruise ship to fix things, but she was nowhere to be found that morning. And then I spent the next week trying to call and text her, but she never responded. I wanted to keep reaching out and apologizing, but I didn’t want to come off as a stalker and scare her either. She clearly wanted space from me, so I needed to back off. But how could I fix this if she wouldn’t let me? Then again, maybe I didn't deserve the chance to fix it.
It was karma, I guess, for telling Ali I’d be busy with hockey, because now hockey was all I had.
We both knew it was an excuse, but I just didn’t want Ali to be stuck. I didn’t want her to be waiting around for a measly phone call from me when she could be living life with someone else.Someone like Brandon,I thought bitterly.
Just the thought of her skating with him made jealousy claw at my chest. But I had to let her go. I forced myself to let her go all those years ago, and it was clearly the best thing for her.
Hans slowly sat down on the bench beside me. “I’d ask how you’re doing, but I think I know the answer.”
I let out a long breath.
“I’m gonna tell you something that I want you to remember.”
“What’s that?” I said distractedly, rubbing my sore shoulder.
“Don’t be discouraged about being last.”
“Ah.” I raked a hand over my hair, questioning how he could practically read my mind. “But I don’t want to be last,” I admitted.
“No one ever does.” He was silent for a beat, then his glassy blue eyes met mine. “But would you wish it on anyone else?”
I swallowed hard before shaking my head. Because that was the truth. I wouldn’t wish this weird mix or heavy regret and loneliness on anyone.
“Well, then ya gotta be okay with it being you.”
I snorted. “Yeah, I guess.”
“I’ll let you in on a little secret,” he said, waiting until I met his clear blue eyes. “Order doesn’t matter when it comes to pretty much anything in this life. Getting married, starting a new profession, learning about yourself, going to church, going to school, even changing your diet.Whenyou start is never as important as makingthe decision to actually start, and when you start in comparison to others doesn’t matter at all.”
I rubbed my forehead. “Okay, but—”
“No buts,” he cut me off in a harsh voice. “I married my Katia so young.” He gave me a bittersweet smile. “But our love story was not so long. Katia passed right before I met you all.”
My shoulders loosened. “Hans, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”
“Don’t feel bad, you’re learning.” He gave me a gentle grin. “But just because our story was cut short doesn’t mean I loved her any less or that it was less impactful on my life. Loving her was the greatest thing I ever did in this life. Our love was…” he trailed off and stared at the ceiling for a beat, “it was what all the songs and books and movies are written about.” Han went silent for a beat before patting his legs. “I’ve been thinking about Miss Ali.”
I did a double-take. Hearing her name felt like a stab to the heart. “I thought we were talking about you,” I said, feeling my shackles raise up about this particular topic.
Hans let out a chuckle and patted my shoulder. “Why would you ever think that? You’re the student here, not me.”
I rolled my eyes.
He gave me a sad smile. “You liked her.”
It wasn’t a question.
