“Already knew that was in the cards, ya crazy girl,” I responded.
I was just thankful I wouldn’t be spending the night on the cold, hard hospitalfloor…
At some point in the middle of the night, I was woken up by Sav’s sniffling.
I could tell she was trying to cry quietly, but I could still hear her, and it broke my heart all over again.
For a split-second I hesitated. I couldn’t decide between trying to comfort her, or just giving her time to cry it out alone… but I had to at least try… right?
“You okay?” I asked, rubbing my eyes in an effort to see her more clearly in the light that was coming off the tv.
“Wha-” she turned and looked at me with a guilty look on her shiny face. “I’m sorry I woke you.”
“It’ll be alright,” I said, attempting to sound convincing. “You okay?”
Her face cracked into more tears and my heart sunk. I scootched up in my chair to pat her leg.
“It’s just all the little things,” she sniffled. “I’ll be fine, then the tiniest thing comes into my mind, and then I just break down.”
I felt my mouth clamp shut at that. She had a point. It’s the little things that distinguished each and every one of us. It’s the little things that make each person who they truly are.
“Like the way he said ‘Hullo’.” She gave a wobbly smile and shook her head before covering her eyes.
I knew what she meant. She could still hear his voice, so very clearly in her head. I swallowed the lump in my throat and paused for a second.
“The way he made slushies,” I offered.
She brought her knees up and laid her head in them. “The way he hugged me from behind,” she mumbled.
I smiled remembering them together. He did do that alot.
“That wicked look on his face when he was about to do something crazy,” I said.
She laughed through her tears at that. “Yeah… I’m sorry I’m crying again.”
I shook my head against this. “Nothing to apologize for. No one gets through life without crying.”
She wiped her nose and looked at me doubtfully. “No?”
“No,” I confirmed. “Everyone has their burden, Savannah. Maybe yours is just… that the love of your life died.”
She looked up to the ceiling andsighed.
She was quiet for some time after that. I reached over to hold her hand, and she accepted the comfort. I thought we were both going to drift asleep… but then I heard her voice whisper, “What’syours?”
I froze.
I debated offering up some little burden of mine, but I knew that wasn’t why she was asking… What she truly wanted to know was if others were hurting as badly as she was… I realized then that if I ever wanted my life to look the way I hoped it to one day, I needed to man up and start speaking the truths that I’d kept hidden for solong…
I cleared my throat. “Watching who I knew was the love of my life fall deeply in love with someone else.”
I held my breath, waiting for her response, but one never came… she just gave my hand a comforting squeeze.
We were both silent until we fell asleep.
39. Sav
When I woke up the next morning, I was still holding Griff’s rough, large hand.
