I paced in my room and tried taking a deep breath, but I didn’t even know where to start.
“Okay, first thing on the list of what’s wrong. Go with what’s at the top of your head, babe. Hit me.”
I dropped my butt into my desk chair and slumped my chin on my hand. “I’m lonely. I haven’t seen that roommate girl since the first day… I have no clue how to meet people, and I hate staying here alone at night.”
“Okay… well I hate hearing that,” he said softly.
I blew out a sigh and immediately felt bad for dumping even more onto his plate. “Never mind. It’s stupid.”
“No. Iwantto hear; I just mean I hate hearing that you’re lonely. Why don’t you join some clubs or a sorority? Maybe try out for something? Maybe we’re spending too much time together?”
That caused a desperate panic to seize my chest.
“Nick, what the fuck am I even doing here if we don’t hang out? That’s the only good part of my week, I can’t lose that-” My throat burned at the possibility of not having that weekly escape from this grim new reality.
He was quiet for asecond.
“Okay, okay,” he backpedaled. “I just don’t want to interfere with you establishing your life there.”
It was my turn to pause. What did that even mean? Now he suddenly wanted me to be some kind of independent girl? I literally left my independence to come here and be with him… now he didn’t like that?
“Okay, what else?” he asked.
“I never feel good anymore and I miss skating.”
“Maybe go back to your old routine?” he suggested. “Like find a rink and do school then skating to give yourself structure. You could coach, babe. Any rink would be lucky to have you.”
“I didn’t bring my skates,” I admitted.
“What? Why not?” He sounded shocked.
“Because… I didn’t think I’d miss it,” I said lamely.
“Well, you’re in luck because we have a game against Minnesota in… I think a week? I’ll try to arrange a time to meet up with your parents to get them if you want?… Hey, actually, I’ll try to hook them up with some tickets. Maybe your mom or dad could bring Duke to thegame?”
“Really?”
“Yeah, for sure. And for my best idea…” I could hear a smile in his words, and it made me smile despite my shitty mood. “Why don’t you move out of that dorm and live here with me instead? I don’t like visiting there anyway.”
I paused at that… I guess it was true. Every time he came in, guys from my hall would want his autograph and then they’d harass me about game tickets as soon as he left… It really wasn’t the best situation… But was he actually serious?
I felt a happy bubble rise in me over the prospect ofescaping.
“Actually?” I asked hesitantly.
“Yes, babe. Life’s too short to stay in a miserable situation any longer than you have to…” he paused again. “You tried to like it though, right? I’m not ruining things for youthere?”
“No,” I said firmly. “I need to get out of here, Nick. If you weren’t here I would’ve already transferred or just dropped out and moved back home. I swear.”
“Okay, then we’ll compromise. Move in with me but stay in classes. It’s only been a month. You need to give them a fair shake for the semester. If you still hate it, then talk to your parents?”
“Deal.”
“Good. I think Coach’s daughters figure skate. I’ll ask him which rinks are good around Detroit. Oh, and we could meal prep and work out together too? Those are pretty much the only things I do outside of hockey now. Not saying you have to, butIhave to do those things. Maybe if we did them together, it could turn into an us thing?
“Really?” It felt like he was handing me a get-out-of-jail-free card, and I appreciated it very much. Going from having such a tight regimen for years to just nothing left me feeling lost… maybe that would be the help I needed to get back on track with life.
“Of course. We need to get you back your happy endorphins,” he replied.
