My meeting with the Monster-in-Law, which was the name Nikki and I deemed the coming weekend bride’s Mother-in-law, was scheduled for 9am sharp this morning.
She had wanted to meet yesterday as soon as I arrived from downstate, but I nixed that idea. There was nothing that important that needed to be dealt with as soon as I arrived- especially considering the fact that the wedding was still almost a week away- about a year in the eyes of a wedding planner.
But this morning I was ready and raring to go. I stopped at the venue’s coffee shop extra early to caffeinate before taking this family head on.
And it was a good thing I did.
Because they were probably the pickiest and snobbiest wedding party I had ever dealtwith.
“What was your name? Eleanor?” Monster-in-law asked. She was a large woman with practically a bowl cut and bright pink lipstick that wiggled beyond the lines of her actual lips.
“I don’t care, Suzie!” the bride, a flitty girl named Angela, yelled into her phone. “Your hair better be brown come this weekend. I told you all I would be the only blonde in the pictures and when you accepted the bridal party invite you also accepted my demands!” she hollered and actually stomped her foot like a two-year-old have a tantrum. I fought like hell against the temptation to roll my eyes… TJ would be proud of my valiant effort. I felt bad for Suzie, whoever she was.
“Uh, no, just Ellie,” I finally responded to Monster-in-law.
She pursed her lips at me. “Well, now that you’re back, here is a list of things I have noticed that are not up to our expectations.”
She handed me a checklist written out on a napkin, and I squinted to read her handwriting.
It seemed most of the demands had nothing at all to do with my company, and more so to do with the actual hotel. How lovely.
“Well, Ma’am, I don’t control the number of towels you all receive, nor do I control the hotel restaurant. I am only in charge of the events on Friday night and Saturday- the rehearsal dinner and the actual wedding,” I pointed out and tried to maintain a relatively unfazed facial expression.
“Well, then who do I deal with?” she asked in an exasperated tone.
Now, I felt bad throwing Andre, who was the concierge at the venue, under the bus. But someone had to deal with the Monster-in-law’swrath.
“That would be Andre behind the concierge desk in the lobby,” I told her.
“Well, I expect you to have everything perfect for the rehearsal dinner. How the hell am I supposed to have confidence in someone who isn’t even around until the day before?” she asked with her hands up.
“I don’t know, Ma’am.” I held my mouth in a firm line. I did not need to be chastised by this woman who hadn’t even seen any of my work yet.
“Can you get me some Evian water? I am positively dyin’ here,” Angela interrupted us to ask.
I gritted my teeth and handed over a hotel complimentary water bottle that was behind my desk.
She gave me a fake “cutesy” smile when I handed it to her but didn’t utter so much as a thankyou.
“We have to see an Andre person in concierge apparently.” Monster-in-law’s words, aimed at Angela, dripped indisdain.
She threw me a dissatisfied look over her shoulder as she left. “We’ll be back,” she barked.
I held my fake smile on my face until they finally hobbled out of myoffice.
As soon as the coast was clear, I covered my face with my hands and let out a frustrated sound.
“That bad, huh?” Nikki asked as she walkedin.
“Monster-in-law and bridezilla from hell,” I deadpanned. I was not looking forward to this weekend.
I usually enjoyed my job and felt satisfied when I put together a masterpiece come wedding day. I could tell this kind of client would be at me the whole night about the stupidest, most minute details and rob me of any satisfaction.
I rubbed my hands over my face and left them on top of my head.
“This is going to be frustrating,” I told Nikki.
“Ya think?” she counteredsarcastically.
