As soon as I was standing, he pulled me into hisarms.
“I am sorry,” he whispered into my hair, and I knew it was true. I was sensitive about the life I built for myself, and he was sleepy and touched a nerve. It was bound to happen with two people who had only known each other for a few weeks. We still had so much to learn about each other. And I wanted to continue to get to know him… and maybe one day, he’d fully know me.
“I say stupid things sometimes. Ask Jules, she definitely thinks so,” he said. “I am working on it.”
“It’s alright,” I said, “I’m sorry for…” I looked away. How did one say they were sorry for something that would surely happen again?
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he looked at me with serious eyes, and I believed him when he said it. He smoothed some hair that had fallen behind my ear and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and embraced feeling loved by him.
After finally leaving his apartment, we walked wordlessly down the five blocks to the arena’s parking garage holding hands, almost understanding that the physical touch, but silence, was needed for now.
Dread gripped me as soon as my car came into sight because each step toward my car was a step further from TJ, and it pained me to leave him so soon. I just wondered if I was the only one feeling this way. I was too self-conscious to tell him my thoughts though, just in case they weren’t reciprocated to this magnitude on his end.
It was scary how fast I’d fallen for him. And this morning made me realize just how fast I could lose him as well.
There was an awkwardness that stretched between us when we stood near my car.
TJ was the one to break it.
“So, there’s one more thing I was going to tell you. There’s this banquet in two weeks,” he pushed a hand through his messy hair, which I was starting to realize was a nervous tick of his. “It’s before the home games against Tampa to kick off the regular season games. Would you be my date?” He asked sheepishly. His chocolate brown puppy dog eyes implored me. And I knew I could never say no to him. “We could have fun getting all dressed up and having a night on the town with the team.”
“That sounds fun.”
He sagged with relief against my car and gave a small smile. “I’ll miss you, Ellie. Wish we had a bit more time, but I’m happy for the time we did have,” he said. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “That’s what I should’ve said this morning. God, I’m sodumb.”
I pulled at his arm, realizing he was beating himself up for what had happened.
“It’s okay,” I told him earnestly.
He leaned down and gave me a kiss on the cheek, but in a daring move, I put a hand to the back of his head and moved him to my lips.
When we moved apart, his good-natured, lopsided smile came back to his face.
“I’ll see you in two weeks,” I told him. “Might call you in an hour when I’m going over that bridge to distract myself.”
“I’ll be waiting for that call, Miss Brampton,” he said, flashing his dimples at me.
41. TJ
I walked back to my apartment alone feeling like I’d been checked by a Mack truck into the boards. I couldn’t help but think that something definitely happened to Ellie in the past that caused her to panic the way she did. It wasn’t nothing. It couldn’t be brushed off. She was practically paralyzed at the prospect of leaving alone. And I felt horrible that I’d pushed her to that point, even though I one hundred percent did not mean too. I slipped and wasn’t careful with my words. I pulled at the front of my hair replaying the conversation. My sisters would’ve killed me if I said that to them, so I don’t know why I said it.
I felt a new urgency to unfold the mystery that was Ellie Brampton. I needed to figure her out before I lost her… Because how could I ever know what to say and do if I didn’t know what exactly triggered her panic attacks?
I tried to think back to when she had that first panic attack in front of me when I walked in on her as she tore down the Scott’s wedding decorations. She said she wasn’t aware of something…? I racked my brain for more lost details but came up short.
I wished she could’ve stayed here with me longer because we made such huge strides last night. I was planning on asking her to be my girlfriend this week. But timing was never right for us, and that was mostly my fault. It was difficult for normal people to find someone to love, then add in the fact that my job would be taking me to different places every weekend and I could end up getting traded at the drop of a hat to who knowswhere…
I swore to myself to give it my absolute all here in Detroit, because at least we could see each other in four hourshere.
My thoughts were cut short when I reached my apartment and realized the door handle gave way, meaning it was already unlocked…
I moved to open it, but leaning close, I could tell by the bubbly voices behind the door who had “broken into” my apartment.
I swung my door open to find two bottle blondes dressed to the nines with mischievous eyes sitting on my couch.
“Hey, baby brother. Show us the town,” my sister Stella said.
42. Ellie
