I knew why though… It was the potential that I was crying over. It was the fact that I let someone into my life for the first time in years, just to have them leave. It was sleeping peacefully next to him at night. It was questioning if everyone else had this every night, and I was the only one just now getting it. I didn’t want to be alone and closed off anymore, and that scared me…And I really didn’t want to walk into my empty apartment and miss his large, masculine, happy presence.
But if he knew just how much baggage I had, would he even stick around me anyway?
It was a fling. That’s all it was, I commanded myself. That’s all it ever could be anyway.
I needed to get my shit together. Nikki was already at the venue setting up, and it was Nina and Patrick Pivardi’s day today, not mine.
A small voice inside me said,Nina gets to feel the way you felt with TJ every single day and night,and that realization, and jealousy, hurt.
I shook my head to clear it of that thought.
“Badass boss bitch,” I repeated to myself aloud. It would be fine. I needed to keep moving forward, just like I always did.
31. TJ - One week later - Detroit
“So, TJ, what do you say, beers at the Blitz with me and the guys?”
I closed my locker and turned to face Griff, who was leaning against his own locker waiting for an answer. I had a lot to finish up at my apartment- it was basically an empty brick box with a bed and a tv on the ground and a basket full of clothes- but I also needed to make sure the guys liked me. What was really making me lean toward the beers though was that it would probably give me the opportunity to ask Griff his thoughts on my Ellie situation.
It’d been only a single week since I left up north, and Ellie had been awfully quiet. She was texting short and not really engaging in our phone conversations. I knew there was a chance of that happening, but I didn’t want to lose her… not when we were so close to making itwork.
“Sounds good, man,” I returned.
The Blitz was the usual hangout spot for the team. It was located downtown only about a block from the rink, and it was pretty much right next to the apartment complex that I, along with a lot of other players, lived in. It was rumored that the rink had tried to buy out The Blitz’s owners for their property, but they stood firm. It was smart on their part, because now a lot of hockey fans grabbed drinks here either before or after games.
The Blitz was your typical hole-in-the-wall sports bar. It had low-lighting and signed Detroit sports flags and jerseys hung up all over in disarray, as well as plenty of flat screens for watching games. The bar was basically a large square island, with seats on all four sides, and then tables and lounge areas surrounded it.
The petite girl bartender with black hair and a tat sleeve greeted all five of us who had come in the door, but then only had eyes for one of our defensemen named Brody… at least I thought that was his name- it could have easily been a change up like Vonnie toVinny.
Brody was a tough guy to read, but he was very clean cut. It shocked me when I saw him stalk over and make out fiercely with the bartender overtop of the bar counter while grabbing the back of herhair.
“Well, that’s an intense hello,” I said.
Griff laughed beside me. “That’s his girl, Adrienne. Unofficial, but everyone knows she’s off-limits.”
“Got it,” I nodded. “So, where’s Sav?” I asked as we sat down on some empty barstools at a corner of thebar.
“She’s at the house opening it back up again. We stayed up north pretty much all summer, so now there’s kind of a lot to do. September always feels hectic. It’s hard to come back, that’s forsure.”
“Where do you guys live?” I inquired.
“Plymouth. It’s about a half hour outside of downtown. We’ll have to have you guys over.”
I nodded at that and ordered a beer.
“It must’ve been hard for you to come downstate with your girl living up there and all, eh?” Griff asked with his serious blue eyes on me.
“Yeah…” I blew out a sigh. “I kind of maybe exaggerated how serious we were. I mean, I want to be serious with her,” I pointed out, “but she scares pretty fuckin easily.”
“Ahh, I know the type,” he chuckled. “Patience is hard, but it worked when I won over Sav. Do you guys have plans for her to come down here to visit at all or not yet?”
“I mean, I was about to send her some preseason opener tickets. She’s just been so quiet, I’m afraid she’ll just try to slowly shut me out of her life.”
Griff took a sip of his beer. “Well, hate to tell ya this, but if she’s the one, you can’t let that happen. Hockey players are superstitious, kid, I don’t have to tell you that. It’s a game of luck and mere inch misses or wins. A split-second can either make you a hero or make a whole city hate you. One inch to the left, a puck hits the crossbar and your team is done; one inch to the right, you clinch a playoff spot. Not to sound too ominous but try your hardest with her. If your love life goes to hell, you’ll be snakebitten. You know what that is?”
I swallowed, “I’ll play like shit?”
He nodded. “Happy wife, happy life. But the opposite of that…” he trailed off. “I almost got traded down to the minors again after Sav and I separated once. Couldn’t score for shit. Ended up spending a night in jail. I swear it’s a thing. It’s like the game won’t want you in it if you’re a jackass to the ones you love. My advice, work hard on your home life, and your hockey life will comeeasy.”
