She gave me a sideways glance, suppressing alaugh.
“I’ll let it slide tonight,” she said, and then she shocked the life out of me by reaching to hold my hand again as we continued to walk back inside. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that made me feel about ten feet tall.
29. TJ
While hearing that I made the roster was the best news, it turned bittersweet because of my unfinished business here. I was staying on the trade-up side of my contract, but as I was making coffee and eggs on Saturday morning for the final time this week, the idea of leaving here for Detroit in an hour felt jarring.
I knew having to say goodbye to Ellie would be sad, but I never imagined it’d be this hard.
She lazily walked out of her room with her hair in a messy bun and those pj shorts on crooked as she sipped some coffee with sleepy eyes. Where I was the morning person, she was the night owl of the two of us.
I felt confident that I would continue to try to grow our relationship, but without me being here, I was afraid she would easily be able to convince herself that she didn’t need or want me.
“Drive me?” I asked and petted her head.
“Mmm-hmm,” she nodded solemnly, and turned to head back to her room to get ready.
On the way to the airport, I kept the conversation light and moving so she wouldn’t be overthinking. But at the airport, when I unfolded myself out of her passenger seat and unloaded my bags out of her trunk, she didn’t get out to join me.
When I walked back up to the front of the car, she looked extra small in her front seat gripping the wheel, staring straight ahead.
Seeing her sitting there made me want to get back in and tell her to drive off so we could escape together and start an adventure. But I knew that wasn’t possible. I couldn’t forget that I had worked my entire life for the opportunity I was being given in Detroit.
I threw her shotgun door open and sat back in the car with her for another minute.
“You know I’m not going to just stop bugging you, Ellie.” I reached over and touched her small, muscular thigh.
Her face didn’t change, but I could see her tell. It was the same one I saw at the Scott wedding. The lower rims of her eyelids were turning red.
“I promise I won’t. I’ll be texting and calling so much you’ll be sick of me. And we could always drive to see each other during our downtime. It’s only four hours, babe.”
She pressed her lips together, trying not tocry.
“I know you don’t believe me right now, Ellie… but this isn’t the final goodbye you think it is. I’m here to stay. And I don’t lie. I hate lies.”
“I’m gonna miss you,” she admitted, finally looking me in the eye. Her words damn near killed me. I didn’t want her to cry because of me. This was the opposite of how it was supposed to work.
“You’ll be busy, and the time between seeing each other will fly by. You’ve got the wedding tonight, right? You’re strong. Badass boss bitch! Say it, Ellie.”
She rolled her glassy eyes. “I’m a badass boss bitch,” she said, and it looked like her face couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry.
“Good. I’m gonna get settled down there and I’ll be sending you some tickets, alright? The preseason opener is two weeks from today. Say you’ll come, please,” I urged.
She nodded at me. I’d have to take that as enough for now. I leaned closer to give her a quick kiss on the cheek before exiting her car.
I swiftly picked up my bags and headed into the small TC airport. I could see some guys already sitting down in one of the gateway’s waiting areas.
This was something they all had to do- leave their relationships on hold during camps and away trips. It was nothing new for most of them, but I’d never felt so heavy about leaving before. I’d never had anything I was scared to lose while I was gone. I also knew that this would be a test for us. I was fully invested in pursuing her… but this couldn’t be one-sided. I had to know that she’d at least show up for me to fight for her.
I guess I’d get the answer after sending her a ticket.
30. Ellie
“And I don’t lie. I hate lies,”hesaid.
Well, I had a few of those lined up in my life that I didn’t really want to explain to him.
I blasted some pop punk music as I drove the few miles back to my apartment, trying to get myself into a better mood. I smoothed the tears away from my eyes. I needed to stop. Why cry over something that was never even fully a something?
