“Thank you,” I told him, earnestly. No one had ever been that complimentary of my skating.
“I feel like you don’t even get it,” He joked.
“Huh?” I asked confusedly.
He stopped, reached out to grab my hand, and then tugged me back towards him.
“God, I love that. Any other girl would’ve fallen on her ass,” he said. He pulled me into a tight, warm hug and looked down at me.
“You have the prettiest, and bluest eyes I have ever seen.” He looked unsure of himself for the first time then. “Can I kiss you?”
Excited nerves coursed through my body, and I felt myself nod.
He slowly angled his head near mine, and touched my lips briefly, and then lingered. His lips were so warm and soft. I wanted more, and I think he sensed so. He pushed down firmer then, and my lips parted for his tongue. He swept it through my mouth and then playfully bit my lower lip.
When he lifted his head, I was immediately nervous. Did I do it right? I wanted to do it again, but did he?
“Damn,” he gave me a quick squeeze and rested his chin on my head. “Fuckin fireworks, Juju.”
I couldn’t help but let a happy little giggle escape.
When I got to the rink the next day, my skates were waiting in the locker room with a note scrawled in crappy boy handwriting: “I had a really great time Juju. Wanna grab donuts with me and the boys after practice today? They wanna meet my girl. And don’t worry about the damn bus. I’ll be giving you a ride.”
Was I already his girl? We’d only had one date, but by the end of it, it felt like we’d known each other for much longer. He was kind. He was exuberant. He was brilliant. The kind of person you wanted to be around. The kind of person you hoped to God really liked you.
And I really did want a donut and to meet his friends.
I felt suddenly seen and wanted. And I wanted more than anything for him to kiss me again.
Chapter Two: Grey- Present
I watched her move up the metal stands of the rink. She’s still a tiny, bow-legged thing, but her waist and legs look slimmer than they did at 22. She’s less girlish and less muscular now, but she still moves with a sense of grace, like she always had.
I remember asking her if she thought she was a princess once, definitely drunk at the time, but she couldn’t help but move that way. I was always in awe of her. She was naturally pure gentleness, and she was trained in grace through her skating days; days that I’d been a part of.
I studied her long, light brown hair tucked under a baseball hat; it gathered in a low pony, and tumbled down her back, ending lighter at the bottom. It’s a lot longer than when I’d last seen it, but it still had a wave to it. Without even seeing the front of the cap, I knew it was probably a piece of old NY Rangers memorabilia with frayed edges, a hand-me-down from her late father. She could have walked right out of a memory, and that notion all but froze my fucking heart.
The only thing out of place was the fancy coat she wore. It didn’t match the hat and Nikes, nor the girl that I once knew under the coat. Unless she changed just that much.
I tried to do the math in my head… it’d been about nine years I think since I last saw her walk away from me. Everything about the way she moved and looked was unique, and I’d know it was her walking away from me anywhere, any day.
I’d bet a grand she had no clue that I was standing on the ice below her. I shook my head and blew out a breath of cold air. What a joke. Below. Her. Two words that made sense when it came to the two of us.
God. I needed to get her out of my head. This was supposed to be enjoyable for me, but her presence developed a twisted knot of regret, self-pity, and pure hatred in my very core- hate for her, hate for myself.
I closed my eyes and felt the cool air gently blowing against my face and absorbed in the hum of the rink around me. So, she got pregnant the same year she left me… Well, that hurt.
Nope, don’t even go there, man, I told myself.
I tried turning my focus to breathing and looking straight ahead, but the urge to see her again was too strong. I wanted to look at her. No, more. I wanted to look her in the eye and make her see how she left me…
Nope.
I needed to stop this.
To stop thinking.
The kids would be filing onto the ice soon. It didn’t matter that she was here. Not at all. I hadn’t thought of her in years. Why would I start now?
