He didn’t look irritated by the question, but a puzzled dip appeared between his brows.“I don’t follow.”
“You know everyone is afraid of you right?They think you don’t like the faire.”
“I don’t.”
“That’s not true,” she said.“You like it.Not in the same way everyone else does.You show it differently.We all want the faire to succeed.You do it by making sure customers are happy, keeping actors safe, and making sure the rules are followed.So why do you put on this big act?Do you like scaring everyone?”
“Lilian—” Hawk sighed, taking a breath as if he were about to present an in-depth business report that would surely put her to sleep.
She interrupted before that could happen.“You have great insights and ideas.I don’t know why you don’t share those with everyone else.”
“You know why…” he mumbled, eyes darting toward the fire.
“Not really.”He’d said people didn’t ask for help, but Hawk wasn’t exactly approachable to new vendors.“You’ve helped me so much, Hawk.And I appreciate that.If you did the same for others, maybe… maybe they would all realize you’re not such a mean guy.”
He looked stunned at the suggestion, just as much as Lilian felt for making it.
What was she doing?Hawk hadn’t asked her for advice on how to be friends with people.For all she knew, he was perfectly happy being the outcast.He didn’t blink twice at the looks he got.He didn’t seem to care about the opinions of everyone else.
Suddenly the warmth of his company disappeared.She’d crossed a line.Hawk’s silence was all she needed to confirm that.“Sorry, there I go again.Signing people up for things they didn’t ask for.”
“It’s all right,” he said, but his voice sounded rough.“I never thought about it like that before.But Lilian, you should know people don’t really want to hear my advice.I act like this because I’m their boss, not their friend.”
“Why can’t you be both?”
“Because…” He trailed off as if realizing for the first time there really wasn’t a reason.
“Your parents are their boss.And your mom is always hanging out with the actors and vendors.”
He sighed, but there was no way to argue the point.“And my dad?”
“Well, he’s clearly where you get your prickliness from, but he also enjoys being at the faire.All I’m saying is let people see the side of you that you’ve been showing me the last couple weeks.”
“What side is that?”His voice was a low rumble between them.Dark shadows played against his hair, his cheekbones, his lips.In the firelight, his eyes almost looked black as they glanced down at her lips.
He wants to kiss me.There was no question about it.And even more alarming was the realization that she wanted to kiss him as well.Her body instantly heated up as she started to lean forward.
No.Don’t do it.Whatever this was between them, Hawk had made it clear to her that he wasn’t interested in becoming more than friends.
She stood, the overwhelming urge to leave thrumming through her.
Hawk followed her to his feet, his face crinkling in worry.“Lilian, where are you going?”
“It’s late.I should be going home.”
“Wait, you were drinking.You can’t drive like this.”
Shit.He was right.She’d happily downed two more bottles of beer and was pleasantly buzzed.“I’ll crash here then.Alex won’t mind.”
“Half the cast has already passed out on the couches,” Hawk said.“Why don’t you stay the night at my apartment?”
She froze, her mind replaying the words.Had he really said that?Yes, he had, and by the look on his face, he actually meant it.She didn’t know what to say.Or what would happen at his apartment, but she really, really,reallywanted to find out.
“Okay.”
Hawk was right.He didn’t live far away.It was late, and the usual bustle of college kids drinking downtown was quiet.The bars had their last calls, the streets were empty.
Alex’s party had been in a similar state, with only a few stragglers left behind.Alex had looked tired when they’d said their farewells, but her eyes had definitely followed as they’d left together.
