I grab her bag, and we leave it in reception with Darius as we head upstairs. When we step through the door, she presses her hands to her cheeks looking around with big eyes. I have to persuade her to sit on thecouch, and she perches on the edge like a bird on a wire. As I’m throwing things into my backpack, Mr. Karen appears and blinks at me sleepily in the doorway of my room, so I pick him up and bury my face in his fur. “Okay, buddy. I hope I see you again sometime,” I mumble as he purrs loudly in my ear.
I fill a suitcase with books and a few extra clothes. I can’t take all my books, clearly. I have no idea if James will ever forgive me, or even whether he’ll be able to talk to me if Williams Security decides to prosecute, but he’s a nice enough guy to get them back to me somehow, I think. My stomach gives a strange little wobble. I like him so much, and he’s probably never going to speak to me again. My hand stills on a copy ofThe Way of Kings. James loves this book—it’s the one that convinced him that fantasy wasn’t so bad. I move through to his room and scan over the neatly made bed and my heart aches. Being with James was like being wrapped in a warm blanket; the first time I’d met someone who saw beyond all my quietness to who I really am. I can hardly swallow past the lump in my throat. I place the book on the nightstand and hurry back to my room.
I can’t be here when James comes back from work; that would be incredibly difficult for both of us. I need to spend tonight figuring out how best to apologize to him in person, then go into the office tomorrow and face the reality of this whole disaster.
Chapter 32
James
When I reach the station in Queens, Sadie still hasn’t responded, and my neck prickles as I take the same streets we took when we came out to pick up her stuff. My steps speed up as I approach Jamaica Houses, and I jog across the grass to her mom’s building. The door is propped open, and two guys are standing in the stairwell. Their eyes snap toward me as I move past them and up the stairs. How did Sadie survive here for so long without getting harassed?
When I reach the fifth floor, I thud on the battered door and stand and listen, half an ear on the guy’s low murmurs drifting up the stairs, half on the door. The green paint is scratched, bare wood showing through around the keyhole and the baseboard. I try and still my breathing to pick up any noises in the apartment. Nothing. I thump the door again. Then I hear it, the shuffle of a step, then silence. I bang on the door again.
“Open up!” I say, as loudly as I dare.
The voices downstairs go suddenly quiet.Fuck.
“I ain’t got your money yet, Char.” Jake’s high-pitched voice says from behind the door. “I’ll have it tomorrow.”
What? Who the hell is Char?
“Open up, Jake. It’s James,Sadie’s boss.”
The chain rattles, and the door is flung back. Jake’s standing there in a vest and sweatpants, grinning at me.
“Just the person I wanted to see!” he crows.
What? Why is he treating me like a long-lost friend?
“Is Sadie here?” I say.
“No, no. She don’t live here no more.”
What? I know that. Perhaps he isn’t aware she’s been living with me.And if he doesn’t, then that’s a good thing.
“Is her mom here?”
He scowls at me. “She’s out,” he says somewhat mutinously. Then his face clears. “But you and I need to have a chat.”
“We do?”
“Yeah, y’see … Sadie needs her pay early. We got some debts.” He waves his arm around. “As a family, you understand?”
Some debts?Oh, Christ. Sadie said she gave all her money to her mom. Did she lie on her resume because there’s financial trouble at home? Did her pay end up with this leech? He’s probably been sponging off Sadie and her mom for years. My neck heats.
Des told me he’d given Sadie an advance on her paycheck to cover a deposit on an apartment, which presumably she didn’t need because she moved in with me. Did she give it to her mom? This asshole?
But all I say is, “Okay.”
“You see,” he says conversationally, leaning against the doorjamb. “Actually, why are we standing here talking? Come in, come in. I can explain proper then.”
Perhaps I should go in and check that they’re both not here. He could have them locked in a bedroom for all I know. I want to snort at myself. I’ve watched too many crime dramas.
“I just came by on the off chance Sadie was here,” I say as I follow him into the kitchen.
An hour-long train ride on an off chance.Yeah, that’s likely, James.But he has no idea how far I’ve come, or how worried I was, how anxious Istillam.
“No problem, no problem,” he says, rubbing his hands together. “You wanna drink?”
