“How is your brother’s hand after punching August last night?” Cassie asks me.
I take another sip, thinking of how I would like to handle this before answering. “I think it’s fine. He didn’t really want to talk before I left.”
Ash hadn’t really said much this morning when I saw him. Just wanted to know why I was out all night. I never really answered him; just dressed for practice and left.
“I can’t believe he hit August,” Mac says. “Although, I’m sure at some point he had it coming.”
I shake my head. “Trust me, he didn’t. That was about more than just August being there. This is more about what happened to me afterwards,” I admit. It slips out before I can stop it, but I’m not sorry that it did.
“What does that mean?” Amelia asks, hobbling along with us.
“Can we sit?” I ask the group. “That way poor Amelia doesn’t have to hobble along after us.”
“Hey, I’m doing much better now,” Amelia pipes up.
“Sitting sounds good,” Cassie says, moving to a spot on the sand away from the path.
We all circle up and sit on the sand.
“What’s up, Hendrix?” Cassie asks, putting her hand on my shoulder. “You look a bit nervous.”
I look down and see that I have gathered the hem of my T-shirt in my hands, kneading in a way. I drop it and then begin wringing my hands. They refuse to still. She’s right, I’m nervous.
I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose.
“You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to, Hen,” Amelia says. I feel her arm on my shoulder from my other side as well.
I look up at my friends. They are all watching me, eyes full of concern. I know why. This isn’t like me. I’m not the one who gets all nervous and quiet on them. I’m the one who is usually full of jokes or silly observations.
“No, I want to say it. I just don’t you to judge me,” I admit, looking around at each of them.
They all nod.
“You know we won’t. You’ve seen us through some pretty tough times, and we will do the same for you,” Mac promises.
I fidget with my smoothie straw.
“Oh, Hendrix,” Cassie moves over and pulls me into a hug. “It’s going to be okay. Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.”
I think about what she said and I nod. I had planned on telling them one thing, but my mind goes a million miles a minute. What truth do they get today? The truth about why Ash punched August? Or that we’ve been sleeping together? I can’t decide. I just know that I don’t want them to hate August. That’s what I worry about. Giving them just another reason to despise him. The truth about what happened that winter break would sure do it. But I don’t want to tell them that I’ve been sneaking around with August. I’m not sure if it’s even anything, but whatever it is, I want to protect it.
So, I go with an abridged version of it.
“Ash hit August because we used to date back when we were in college. Until his father, Maxwell Cromwell, decided that August wasn’t living up to the Cromwell name and took him from UNC to Brown to fix that. I was crushed. I really loved that stupid asshole,” I say, laughing and shaking my head.
“August?” Cassie asks. “The August that we hang out with?”
I nod. “I know I know,” I say, holding my hands up in surrender. “But he was different back then.”
“How so?” Mac asks. She’s grinning at me, like she’s in on some secret.
I grin back at her. “He wasn’t always so serious. There was a playful side to August. I loved that side of him. I know he seems like a goof now sometimes, but it’s not the same. There’s a seriousness about him now, which, don’t get me wrong, he needs to run the Blaze. But his carefree heart is something that August shouldn’t have taken from him.”
I turn and steal a peek at the blue green water that is rolling in, causing white caps where the waves break. I inhale the salty air and turn back to talk to my friends.
“He was sweet, caring and wasn’t always looking for a new piece of ass. He was committed to me. While I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship as a college freshman, he caught me off guard and I fell so hard for him.” I pick at a random thread on my shirt and sniffle. I hadn’t even realized that the tears had started to fall. “When Maxwell came to get him, August was packed up and away he went. He finished all of his work remotely; there was no need for him to be at school. Money talks and Maxwell used his to make sure that August didn’t have to remain on campus or anywhere near me.”
Everyone is quiet so I continue. “He changed August’s phone number, and any social media that he had at the time was deleted or changed. I never could find him, until I came here to the Blaze.” I shake my head, pushing tears away with the back of my hand. “Ash hates him because when August left me, it gutted me. I wasn’t myself for a very long time. I think Ash is worried what being around August will do to me again,” I say with a shrug. “Frankly, some days I do too.”
