“You’re welcome, man.” He sits in the corner of couch and appraises me. “So, she came here to check on you. You just woke up on this couch wearing the same clothes that you were in last night.”
“Yes,” I confirm. “No, I didn’t fuck her.”
He nods. “Good. I’m proud of you, man. If you didn’t fuck her, as you say, what did the two of you do? Did she just hold the ice pack to your jaw there and play nurse?”
Dex gets up, standing in front of me, and kneels down to check on my jaw. “It doesn’t look too bad. I can see some swelling and bruising, but other than that, how does it feel?”
I shrug. “Just sore.”
He sits back down and stares at me. “What happened here last night, August? Clearly something did because you slept on the couch. If she had left you would have gone to your bedroom.”
I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. I know I was punched in the jaw but damn, if I don’t have a fucking headache. Hisquestions are not helping, but I’m going to tell him because I need someone to help me process it.
“August, dude, what the fuck?”
“It was less about me and more about her. I found out why her brother hates me so much. What he meant by what he said just before he punched me.” My voice trails off. I appreciate it’s Dex who is here with me right now. He knows I’ll get around to it. “He has a good reason for being so angry at me. I almost took his baby sister from him. I was that asshole that almost cost him one of the most important people in his life.”
I shake my head, putting the coffee down on the table. I stand up to begin to pace. “Dex, I don’t know if I can say it out loud. I’ve thought about it all fucking night and not having her here in front of me makes it harder. Because at least when she was here, I could be sure that she was okay. That nothing bad was happening to her. But right now, she’s gone and I have no idea,” I say with a shrug. “I have no fucking idea.”
Dex leans back into the couch, arms splaying over the back of it. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready to tell me. But whatever it is, I think she’s fine now. I think that just because you can’t watch her every second of her life doesn’t make her at risk. It makes her strong and she’s built up walls that are protecting her. Sure, there are always moments when she questions it, but you don’t need to watch her constantly. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from getting to know Hendrix Monroe, it’s that she’s strong. I know she is and so do you.”
I nod. “You’re fucking right. I know that. I just can’t. This new information has me reeling.”
“If you wanna tell me, I’m here. If not, that’s fine, but I can’t help you if I don’t know what you are struggling to process,” he reminds me.
I sit back down where I did last night when she came to see me. I can still see her there, sitting on her knees, watching me,checking on me and eventually unburdening her soul to me. I glance back at Dex where he sits all relaxed and patient.
“Winter break after I left her, Ash found her holding a gun in her hand. She almost…” I can’t finish the words. Instead, I say, “Because of me she decided that her life wasn’t worth living.Iwas almost the reason that she couldn’t go on.”
Dex pinches the bridge of his nose, and I can tell by the way he begins to chew on his lip that he’s processing. Finally, he says, “I know what you are thinking right now—that you aren’t over her. Over someone like you who isn’t worth anyone getting that upset over. Well, clearly she did. And it just goes to show you two things.” He holds up two fingers, letting the first one fall as he speaks. “One, that she is an immensely strong woman. Who else would be able to survive loving you, you leaving her and feeling so low that she decided that life wasn’t worth living, all to come here and play soccer for you? And two, you meant so much more to her than you realize. Maybe it’s time you pretend like she means something to you instead of deflecting and acting like an ass sometimes. Just let the rest of our friends see that you aren’t always an asshole. That you deserved her love once and that you finally realize that you could deserve her love again. Maybe then Ash won’t punch you in the jaw again. Maybe he would start to soften just a bit to see what she sees.”
I watch him for a moment. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I just don’t know how to go forward with her from here. How do I go from taking her home from the bar, hate-fucking her in the locker room, to finding out that she almost hurt herself because of me. How do I treat her after this? I can’t act like I’ve been. There’s no way…” My voice trails off.
“What did we talk about the other night? Didn’t I tell you to play the long game and stop looking for a cheap fuck? Let her see that the man she loved at one point is still in there. Do that. And as for the rest of it, Hendrix isn’t made of glass. She isn’t goingto let you treat her like she is. It’ll piss her off even more. You need to deal with this information and find a way to move past it. Dredging it up and acting like it defines her or the two of you isn’t what she wants. You and I both know that.”
I look over at him and smile. “Thank you for coming to Tampa.”
He shakes his head and laughs. “Okay.” His eyes narrow in on me in disbelief.
“I needed you. I needed this. This clarity that only you have been able to provide me. It’s good to have you here.”
“I’m here for whatever you need, brother.” He looks at his watch and chuckles. “But right now you are paying me, so I should get my ass to the field so that I can be there in case one of them needs me during practice.”
I nod. “I should head in too.”
“It’s Saturday,” he reminds me.
“Always something to be done,” I counter.
“Well, shower first,” he says, getting up.
“Will do, brother,” I say, draining the rest of my now-lukewarm coffee. “Thanks again.”
“Anytime, you know I have your back.” Dex turns and leaves.
I make my way back toward the shower. I desperately need one. I also need to clear my head, so I make a mental note to grab some workout clothes so that I can use the facilities at the Blaze. It’ll help me work through some of this, something I need to do before I see her again so that I don’t piss her off. It’s the last thing I want to do.The goal from here on out is forward, I tell myself as I step under the spray.
Chapter Seventeen
