“I don’t want to know that,” he says coolly.
No one says a word for what feels like an eternity. The silence is deafening.
“Say something.”
What he says next surprises the shit out of me. “Are you okay?”
I nod. Then I shake my head. “It didn’t fix anything. It just reminded me what it felt like to be wanted.”
“Can I kick his ass?” Ash asks, leaning back in the couch and staring at the ceiling.
I laugh, a short, broken sound. “You’d lose.”
“Probably, but I’d make it look good.”
We share a laugh at that.
“Why him, Hen? Why would you go back there?” Ash finally asks me.
“Because everyone in my circle is all coupled up and we both aren’t. And there is so much history there.” The reasons are weak and we both know it.
“Come on, Hen, do better than that.”
“I’m going to say the thing that you are not supposed to say to your family, especially your overprotective brother.”
He chuckles. “Lay it on me.”
“I just wanted someone who knew me and my body. I was lonely and I just wanted to scratch an itch. So that’s what I did.” I shrug, not bothering to tell him it wasn’t the first time. I’m sure that doesn’t matter anyways.
Ash nods and pulls me into his arms. “Well, thank you for being honest with me. But maybe don’t do that again.”
I chuckle over his shoulder. “Yeah, I know it wasn’t smart. I get that. But sometimes I’m going to make stupid decisions and you’re just going to have to be okay with that. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”
He nods. “I know that. I just wish it wasn’t with him. Iknowwhat he did to you. I was the one who found you holding that—” the words die on his lips. He breathes a heavy sigh and continues. “You could have used it on yourself, and I never would have seen you again. We wouldn’t be sitting here like this. And I couldn’t be coming to visit my sister like this. I would be visiting your grave.”
I lean over and take his hand, squeezing it. “I’m sorry that I did that. And I’m sorry that you had to find me like that. But you have to trust me. I’m going to be fine. I’m not going to go there again. Look at me,” I tell him, lifting up my head so that I can see his face. “You get to visit your sister like this. Nothing like that is ever going to happen again.”
I lean in and hug him tightly. “It’s so nice to see you, big brother. I mean it. I love the overprotective brother part that you play so well. Especially since Mom and Dad don’t take a lot of interest in us anymore.”
He chuckles. “They mean well. They really do. It’s just that they are busy with their own lives.”
I shake my head and laugh. “Oh please, Dad should never have been a dad. He never once came to any of our games. He just wrote checks and said good job to us once a month or so. Mom has all of her lunches and social functions that keep her occupied now. Busy lives or not, they still are our parents,” I remind him.
“Yeah, well, had Dad not won the election, it wouldn’t be like this,” he reminds me, staring at me pointedly.
“Yes, being an attorney general keeps you very busy, and a pseudo first lady keeps you even busier,” I say mockingly.
“They love us.”
“Sure, they do,” I say, rolling my eyes.
No one speaks for a bit, and I finally decide that while we’re bonding like this, I need to ask him the question.
“Just how long do I have my big brother here with me in Tampa. You never said how long you were staying. That firm that you created is a busy place and I’m sure they will eventually need you.” I look over at him and see him tense. “Come on, Ash. Tell me what’s going on. I want to know and if I can help, I will.”
He nods. “There isn’t anything that you can do, Hendrix. I want you to know that. There is nothing that you can do for me now. I’m fine.”
I sit up with a shot and turn so that I am facing him. “Please tell me what is happening right now.”
