The game ends and we lose. I hate that we lost. No one likes losing. But I feel bad for Hendrix, as this is the worst that I have ever seen her play, and her own brother was here in person to witness it. I mean, if he is right and he does watch her from home, he’s seen her amazing saves. But it’s always so much better to have a great game than a shitty one when your family is in the stands. I know all about that.
“I’m gonna go see the girls,” I say as soon as the final whistle is blown. I don’t even bother to wait to see if they acknowledge me.
Chapter Eleven
~HENDRIX~
The final whistle blows and all I can think of isthank fuck. I cannot wait to get off that field and back into the locker room so that I can break down in peace. My head drops and I head off of the field. Out of the corners of my eyes, I see teammates are starting to approach me, but I wave them off. Cassie is the first one to speak to me.
“Hen, it’s okay. This was a crappy game all around. You did everything you could but let’s face it, none of us had a good game.” Cassie moves to put a hand on my shoulder, but I give her a look that stops her in her tracks.
“Yeah, well you didn’t miss five saves that cost us,” I bite out.
My tone causes Cassie to jump back. She doesn’t bother to say another word and gives me a wide berth when we head over to bench to line up to bid the other team a ‘good game.’For them it was, I think bitterly. I move on autopilot, over to the bench, drinking a sip of water and then lining up in the front like I’m supposed to. The goalies are always in the front of the line. I tap hands and wish everyone a good game. Once I’m finished going through the line, I head straight for the bench so that I can grab my gear and get to the locker room. I catch Jase coming towards me and I immediately hold my hands up.
“Hendrix, come on, we need to talk about what happened out there,” Jase tells me.
I shake my head again. “Nope, we are not talking about that.”
He actually chuckles and tries again. “We will talk about it, Hendrix. Come on, we’ve all had games like that. The whole team was off balance today. Watts is going to talk to them. Right now, I need to talk to you,” he tells me. His eyes are pleading with me to just give in.
I don’t want to.
“Can’t I just have a few minutes to myself?” I ask him. I’m not trying to fight with him. I just want to be left alone.
“You want me to leave you alone so that you can sulk, is that it?”
“What do you think?” I shoot back. I look around the stadium and see that some of the Blaze players have walked over to see the fans and sign autographs but there is no way that I will be joining them.
“You should, you know,” Jase says, following my eye line.
“Nope, not happening.” I push my gloves into the keeper bag and begin to gather my warm-up top. “I’m sorry, but I just want to be left alone, Jase.”
“I can’t do that, Hen. You know that. Come on, just talk to me. What happened out there?” he asks me. His questions aren’t accusatory, he’s legitimately curious. I hate that I’m being so difficult right now.
I sigh. “I don’t know, Jase. They shot the ball and I couldn’t stop it. I could track it; that wasn’t the problem. But I couldn’t read the shots. They were just too damn fast for me,” I admit, shrugging sheepishly.
“Okay, well, we can work with that. I’ll talk to Watts and see what we can do to recreate some of the shots to help. I’ll get you ready for the next game. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re ready.” He pats my shoulder. “You don’t need to take this lossso personally. It was a million little things that led up to it.” I go to protest, but he holds his hand up, silencing me. “Hendrix, was your head in this game? Or were you distracted and worried about something else? Maybe your brother in the stands made it hard for you to focus.”
“Please, I’ve played in front of family and friends before. My head was one hundred percent in this game. I was ready and prepared. I locked in. I went through my normal pre-game routine, like I always do. The focus was there, I swear it,” I adamantly say.
Jase breaks into a smile and nods. “See, this is not on you. It was just the perfect storm of the players getting through the midfield, through the defense and hitting the right spots in the goal. I’ll study it and make sure this doesn’t happen again, okay? Go shower and stop beating yourself up. This isn’t your fault,” he reassures me for what feels like the hundredth time.
I hate that he’s trying to make me feel better and that I’m not buying it for one second. Jase means well but right now, it feels like nothing could make me feel better.
“I’m going to go into the locker room,” I tell Jase, forcing a smile. I can tell by the way he’s studying me that he doubts I have stopped blaming myself. “Thanks for the pep talk.” I try to sound positive, but it comes off flat.
“Okay, stop by the team room, please. Watts wants to talk to the team,” he says, patting my shoulder before heading over to Coach Andie.
I sigh and head towards the locker room. I move past the line of fans that are on the sidelines. Some of them call my name, but I just keep on walking. I hear a familiar voice calling to me.
“Monroe, come here, Hen.” It’s Ash.
I head over in his direction. “I really have to get to the team room. But I’ll see you in a bit, okay? I just need a minute,” I tell him, hoping he’ll understand.
He nods slowly, staring at me. “Danny was telling me about everyone heading over the Backwoods, were you planning on going?”
I think for a second and then nod. “Yeah, I could use a drink after this game.”
