“Fine,” I muttered, my cheeks blazing with embarrassment. “But can you stop saying it?”
“Saying what? Pussy?”
“Lizzy.”
She grabbed my forearms. “Say it, Helen. Say it.”
I shook my head like a crazy woman. “No!”
“You need to loosen up. It’s a word. Just a word.” She let go of me and we started walking back to my car.
“I’ve never talked about it.”
“Not talked about, not touched it, not explored what it likes or what you want to do with it. Helen, our intervention isn’t just about your underwear or the clothes you wear. You’re so funny, so lovely, so approachable, but then when it comes to anything to do with sex, you turn into a nun. I hope you’re going on a date. I hope he sets your body on fire. I hope he’s so desperate for you that he bends you over the nearest surface and fucks you senseless because everyone deserves that kind of connection.”
I let out a sigh, knowing she was right. “Pussy,” I mouthed, trying the word out.
She linked her arm with mine. “Please tell me he’s our new, hot as hell fireman because don’t think I didn’t notice how he looked at you at the bar the other night.”
I didn’t reply, but I was sure my silence spoke volumes.
Chapter 16
Jax
“Is there a reason you’re standing out here, Jax?” Tiny asked as he handed me my coffee while I stood by the fire engine staring over the road at the Pilates studio where I could see Helen in the class. Bent over, wearing the hottest black leggings and top I’d ever seen, I was trying not to get hard in front of the world, but she was making it impossible, and the thought of having her to myself later tonight wasn’t helping.
“Listening out for a call, of course. What else would I be doing?” I replied before taking a sip of my drink, letting the scalding liquid hit my tongue, hoping the caffeine would wake me up after a pretty exhausting night shift.
“You ready to go back to the station? You never know, things might be quiet and we have a relaxed end to the shift.” I spun on my heel as his eyes widened because he’d said the dreaded words. And just to prove why we never mentioned a 'quiet' shift, a call came in on the radio for a warehouse fire on the edge of town.
“Motherfucker,” I hissed as I leaped into the cab and accepted the call as Tiny ran to get the rest of the team.
I staggered through the doors six hours later, exhausted and in desperate need of a shower, glad that I’d sorted everything for tonight earlier in the week, because having worked nearly eighteen hours, I was broken.
The warehouse fire had taken hold quickly and the goods they stored in there were at risk of exploding, so we stayed to help the next crew get it under control.
Stripping off my uniform, I threw it into the hamper in the bathroom before locking the door, taking off my underwear, and stepping under the hot water, loving how it instantly soothed my aching muscles.
I washed and conditioned my hair, before tipping some shower gel into my hands, dragging the soapy suds over my skin, wincing when my hand edged between my thighs. Deciding not to let my thoughts go where they were trying to pull me, I turned the shower on as cold as it would go, letting it batter my body until my thoughts dissolved because I didn’t want to end up inthatplace again.
When I felt sure I was okay, I turned off the water, my body shivering from how long I’d been in the cold jets. Wrapping a towel around my waist, my fingers caught the raised scar on my stomach. I huffed out a breath as memories slammed into me so hard that I had to grip the sink to stay standing while I pushed down the well of emotion that remembering what put that mark on my body evoked.
“Shake it off, Jax,” I mumbled to myself as I walked from the bathroom to my bedroom, where I pulled on my underwear and a pair of joggers, set an alarm, and passed out in bed.
Helen
I got back from Pilates to a note on the kitchen counter from Jax telling me there was a gift box for me on my bed and he’d booked me a massage and a facial at a fancy spa while he recovered from his night shift.
I’d never been to a spa, let alone had a facial or a professional massage, although I already knew that it wouldn’t surpass the one Jax had given me recently. And while it didn’t make my body react in the same way his did, having someone fuss over me might be my favourite way to spend my day off.
I arrived back a few hours later to find Jax passed out in his bed. I’d heard about the fire on my way home and my heart raced when the newsreader on the radio reported how hard they had to fight to put it out.
Wondering if he needed to sleep or still wanted to do our evening together, I stood in his doorway, contemplating whether I should get ready… I mean, I’d not even opened the present he’d left for me as he’d instructed me not to until later.
“I’m getting up. I promise. I have about eleven alarms set.”
“Are you sure? Sounds like you had a tough shift. I heard you did some pretty heroic stuff.”
