“Hi, I’m guessing you’re Helen. Hi, Lizzy.”
I waved awkwardly.
“I’m Catherine. Come on through and let’s have a chat.”
I glanced at Lizzy, who was taking a seat in the waiting area. “You’re not coming?”
“No,” she cried. “I love you, but watching you get waxed is pushing our friendship a bit far.”
“I need you to hold my hand.”
She didn’t reply, rolling her eyes before she reached for a magazine off the side table.
“Fine,” I hissed. “I’ll remember this.”
I walked the short distance to the treatment room, where the lights were low and soft music played in the background. Catherine pointed to the bed. “These are paper pants. They are the worst, but they help me see what I’m dealing with and get to the bits you want waxing without your underwear getting in the way. Slip off your skirt and put these on and then there is a towel on the bed for you to put over yourself. Don’t be nervous. I’ve done this a million times, and I know how scary your first time is.”
Her words relaxed me and it wasn’t long before I was on the bed wearing the paper pants, which should be renamed the tiny paper thong.
There was a soft knock on the door before Catherine entered. “So, what are we doing today? A tidy up, a full wax, somewhere in between.”
“I would just like to not look like I have a neglected bush.”
Her eyes creased at the corners, and she laughed, making me laugh too.
“Okay, so it’s been a while since youhad a gardener in?”
“I had a wax once and I couldn’t walk for days.”
“Ouch. I’m sorry you had to experience that. Well, it won’t be like that today. I don’t use strips. The wax I use hardens and then when I pull it off, it will hurt a bit, but nowhere near as much.”
“I might scream. I’m a wimp.”
“That’s fine. I won’t take it personally, but I promise it won’t hurt like last time. How about we start with a tidy up and then you can take a look and decide if you want more?”
Fifteen minutes later, I was staring at myself in a hand mirror. It had stung a bit, but it was nothing like before and I loved the result.
“It’s perfect,” I declared.
“I have to ask. Why did you decide to start getting waxed?”
“I have a date.”I have no idea why I shared that.Catherine grinned. “He’s younger than me.”Oh, dear Lord, Helen. Enough!
“I love that so much. You go, have fun with your younger man. Right, I’ll meet you back out there.”
I got dressed, binning the horrendous paper pants before going back to reception where I paid. As we turned to leave and Lizzy opened the door, Catherine spoke. “Enjoy your date, Helen.”
I glanced at Lizzy, hoping she didn’t notice my blush. “I had to tell her something,” I whispered. “I didn’t want to say, 'I’m having a mid-life crisis and my friends are insisting I stop acting like an old lady, so I need my bits waxing'.”
“Pussy,” Lizzy replied as we stepped outside, making some actual old lady turn to us and tut loudly.
“What are you doing?” I asked, wide-eyed.
“Pussy,” she said again, louder.
“Oh, my god. What are you doing?” My eyes darted around to see who else was annoyed by her outburst.
“It’s not your bits, it’s your pussy.”
