“I can help.”
“No, honestly. I’m good,” I let out a little too fast. Looking hurt, she picked her book up from the counter and moved to sit in the living room.
I took my time making lunch and when I carried it through she was under a blanket on the sofa, her nose buried in her book, cheeks flushed, chewing on her bottom lip.
“Here you go.”
She jumped, letting out a small cry as I held out her coffee.
“Shit, did I scare you again?”
“No,” she laughed, putting her book down and taking the cup from me. “I mean, not like that. My book… they were going hard at it when you came in.”
I raised an eyebrow as I took the armchair across from her, feeling like I needed to put some distance between us. “Really? Tell me more.”
“He’s a pirate, and they’re lost at sea without a crew because they were all killed in the storm. He was under her skirt, showing her how talented he was with his tongue.” She blushed again, making me chuckle.
“I bet he will be showing her how handy he is with a sword later.”
Fern spluttered as she tried to swallow her coffee. “And if he does, his sword will be huge and throbbing,” she added. I took a bite of my sandwich and tried to ignore how my own cock was threatening to go hard right in front of her.
“What does it taste like?” Fern asked innocently.
“It’s good. I found some mustard so I added it to the mayonnaise. It’s the secret to a good sandwich.”
She nibbled her bottom lip before she spoke again. “I didn’t mean the sandwich. I meant a woman’s… you know. Her pussy. What does it taste like when they come on your face? Do you like it?”
Jesus, I’m going to hell. This is where it happens. I will burst into flames.
I forced down my food and let my eyes meet hers. Her pupils were blown, hiding almost all the green that was usually there.
“Erm…”
“Shit. Sorry. I should never… that’s so inappropriate. God, what is wrong with me?”
“No, it’s okay. I mean, it might be the weirdest question I’ve been asked for a while, but—”
“James would never do it. In fact, there were a lot of things he wouldn’t do. He wouldn’t let me go on top, would never go down on me, he never put his fingers inside me, and God forbid if I’d ever wanted him to play with my ass, he might have had a heart attack. He was very much a man of habit. Boob play and kissing, approximately forty-five seconds to a minute touching my clit, and if I didn’t come in that time, that was my fault. Then he’d climb on top, bury his face in my neck and fuck me until he came, which usually took about three minutes. Then he’d get dressed and leave.”
She took her glasses off and placed them on the coffee table, rubbing her eyes. “Sorry, that was TMI. It’s just the more I think about my relationship with him, the more I realize how fucked up it was. I mean, I knew it was a mess… he was ten years older than me and I was only seventeen. But it was more than that; things were bad on so many levels. How he spoke to me, howhe expected me to behave… I couldn’t believe I’d put up with it because I thought he loved me and I’d get a future with him.”
She leaned her head back against the couch and I moved to sit next to her, sliding under the blanket.
“I don’t expect you to understand, but I feel so stupid and so used.”
Placing my plate on the table, I reached for her hand, leaning my head back so I didn’t have to look at her. “I was fourteen.” She froze next to me, her fingers tightening around mine as if she could sense something bad was coming.
“I’d gotten kicked out of boarding school and sent home. Dad told me I was broken and didn’t deserve any more of his money because I’d never amount to anything and he enrolled me in the local comprehensive school. Only problem with that plan was I was too young to stay home alone and there was no way he was giving up his jet set life or his job to be a dad, so he hired Jennifer as my guardian, which was just another way to say nanny. She was twenty.”
I felt Fern’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t look at her, so I kept my gaze fixed on the low ceiling.
“She was stunning. I mean, I was a fourteen-year-old boy, so I noticed her. Tall, long black hair, huge breasts, and legs that went on forever. She was affectionate. Always hugging me, rubbing my arm while we chatted, sitting on my bed late at night asking me about school. I’d been to an all-boys’ school, so despite me pretending otherwise, I knew nothing about girls. I’d never even kissed one.
“It started innocently enough. We’d curl up together when we watched films. She’d wear less and less around the house, tell me that I was so mature and handsome. I lapped it up. Then one night she got into bed with me, telling me she was cold. She had on the tiniest shorts and bra top and I got the biggest boner. I was mortified, but she told me she wanted to show me how totake care of it. She pushed down my shorts and made me come all over myself. From there, it escalated. I was barely fifteen when she persuaded me to have sex with her. Fuck, looking back on it, I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t even sure I wanted it, but I did it because I didn’t know how to say no.” I didn’t pause, not wanting to hear her reaction.
“I’d met Fox and Archer by now and when I told them about it, they were both horrified. I thought they’d think I was cool because I was having sex with someone older and hot, but they weren’t. They told me she was abusing me and begged me to tell my dad.”
I twisted my head, needing to see her and ground myself in this moment rather than that memory. “Do you know what he said? That I should be happy because I was getting laid.” I let out a hollow laugh. “I tried to stop her, to tell her I didn’t want to, but she told me that my hard cock told her otherwise. I let it go on until I was seventeen, then I left home and moved in with Fox and his mum.”
