She began walking toward me, carving a path through the colorful petals. I moved too, drawn to her like a moth to a flame.When she was close, she stopped, respecting my personal space, and I hated how much I loved her for it.
“I missed you.”
I’d done everything possible to stay away from her over the last six months, but seeing her now, I couldn’t remember why I was so angry because all I saw was the woman I was in love with.
“I missed you too,” I told her honestly, feeling a crack appear in the walls I’d fought so hard to put up since she’d hurt me.
“Can I touch you?”
The crack splintered, spreading quickly, destroying the foundation, my walls crumbling. I nodded my head slightly and her hand came up to cup my cheek. I couldn’t help leaning into her, the familiar feel of her skin on mine soothing me.
I closed my eyes, letting out a sigh as my anxious mind calmed and my heartbeat slowed.
“I’m so sorry.” Her voice was so low that I almost didn’t hear her. “If I could take it back, I would. I saw that video and I flipped. I would never… I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I kept my eyes closed. “But you did.”
Her other hand raked through my hair, forcing a groan to spill from my lips.
“I love you. You’re not James. You never were. I was so wrong for saying that. The video was a shock. It hurt, and I reacted… badly. I didn’t mean what I said.”
“The problem is, I can’t stop hearing it. It plays on loop in my mind. You knew what I’ve been through and you still compared me to a rapist and all I keep asking myself is that what you really thought of me.” I opened my eyes and stepped out of her hold. “I told you I was a lot, and you’d get sick of me if you saw the real me, but you took me at my worst and threw it at me as an insult… the worst insult.”
“Charlie, I—”
I shook my head as I interrupted her before she could say anything else.
“Don’t please. Walking away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I love you. I don’t think I’ll feel this way about anyone else. Honestly, I think you were it for me.”
She let out a strangled sob, and I hated that I was hurting her, but I needed to do this.
“I don’t trust you, Fern. I don’t trust you with my heart and I can’t risk any more scars. I’m sorry.”
I reached out my hand and she looked at it like it was made of glass before entwining her fingers in mine.
“It’s over. I mean it. I… can’t do this with you anymore. No more letters, no more getting Arch and Fox involved, no more grand gestures. I trusted you and you broke that trust by insulting me in the worst way ever. I mean, I was raped, I saved you from being raped, but yet, you had the nerve to compare me to James. I won’t put myself in that position again with you.”
She swallowed slowly before looking up at me through her long lashes, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I understand. Can I get a hug before I leave?”
I paused because I wasn’t sure I could touch her without throwing myself at her feet and begging her to stay with me for a lifetime. That was what my heart wanted, but my head confirmed it was firmly in charge and a quick hug would be fine.
“Sure.”
She stepped in closer and I wrapped my arms around her, breathing in her familiar scent. My skin tingled, my breath hitched, and my cock hardened unexpectedly. Jennifer’s voice echoed in my head, louder than ever, reminding me that I had no control over my body and she could take anything she wanted from me.
I staggered backward, watching Fern’s lips move as she obviously said something, but I couldn’t hear a word over theblood pulsing in my ears. Turning, I ran from the room, ignoring Marshall as I tried to make it to the bathroom without anyone noticing me.
Slamming into the stall, I leaned over the bowl, vomiting violently as my past held me in a chokehold.
When I was finally able to stand, I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand and stepped back out into the bathroom.
Washing my hands in the sink, I stared at my reflection in the mirror, noticing how tired and drawn my face looked. Letting out another sigh, I dropped my gaze to grab a towel. When I looked back up, I let out a cry, finding someone standing behind me.
“Hi, baby.”
Fern
I tried not to cry as I watched him walk away. He’d made his feelings clear; it was over.
