“Beautiful today.” Daniel beams at me as I walk past, heading back toward the house.
“Yes, very.”
“Good walk?”
“So far.”
“Good, good, you look healthy.” He flexes his biceps. “Very strong.”
“One day I’ll be able to throw him fifty feet.” I nod at Hulk, who doesn’t react.
Daniel laughs and says something in Russian. Hulk grunts in reply.
I continue past them. Wind pushes my hair in waves. I shield my eyes, thinking about the buildings in the distance, about the world outside. I know, deep down, that I’m numb and avoidingmy problems, but the beach is always here, the sand feels nice, and I love the sound of the waves. One day I’ll get in the water and swim. Maybe I’ll keep on going for a while.
I wonder if Daniel and Hulk will come after me.
The house appears behind the dunes. It’s beautiful and white with a flat roof and a massive wooden deck. It must’ve cost a small fortune, right here on prime California real estate. I trudge back, feeling strangely empty, like I always do after a walk. Like I always do, every time I open my eyes.
Inside is cool and comfortable. It’s a lovely home, decorated with touristy beach schlock, but I like it anyway. The color scheme is pale blue. I toss my shoes aside, rinse off my feet in the outside shower, and head into the kitchen. It’s clean and modern. There’s lots of glass overlooking the ocean and the views are unbelievable. I make tea and offer some to Daniel. He happily accepts while Hulk stakes out a position near the front door.
“Can I ask you something?” Daniel seems thoughtful as I place a mug in front of him. I sit down at the other side of the table and sit on one ankle, blowing at the steam.
“You might as well.”
“When are you going to talk to him?”
I keep my eyes on the table and don’t reply. He’s the ghost in every conversation, but this is the first time since we came here that Daniel’s actually bringing him up. It’s like a punch to my throat. Like a bullet to my jaw. Like Ilya’s head exploding into a pink mist, one moment trying to save me, dead the next.
“I don’t know,” I say and that’s the truth. “What has he ever done for me?”
“He wants to explain.”
“It doesn’t matter. He hasn’t even tried to find my mother yet. He says he keeps his promises, but I haven’t seen that.”
“You should still hear him out.”
“What’s he going to say?Sorry I killed your dad?” I look up sharply, surprised at the sudden surge of hot anger. I should shut my mouth. I should stay quiet. I’m safe if I’m small.
But I’m different now, even if I don’t like it.
“It wasn’t that simple.” Daniel sighs and sips his tea. “Look, I don’t have any reason to defend him. God knows that man is difficult. But I’m telling you now, I’ve worked for a few different bosses over the years, and he’s the only one that’s ever been remotely fair.”
I laugh. It’s an ugly sound. I feel that sound deep in my soul: bitter and borderline manic. “Should that make me feel better? Your whole argument is he’sfair? How’s it fair that he killed my dad and didn’t tell me about it?”
“He has his reasons. You should talk to him.”
“I don’t want to.”
“What’s the plan then? You’re going to walk along the beach all day every day until he’s a Dragon or you’re both dead?”
“Sounds fantastic.”
“Good luck with that.” Daniel sits back, watching me carefully. “I saw the way you looked at each other. I think you’d be stupid to waste something like that.”
“You don’t know a fucking thing about me.” I shove myself back from the table. “You’re his fucking lapdog, that’s all.”
“But I’m not.” His smile is deeply sad. “Gabe’s twisted. We all are. But at least he doesn’t bullshit. We have a deal, and he sticks to it. I respect that.”
