Our lips brushed without kissing, our inhales and exhales intertwining.
His grew shorter. Louder. His hips stuttered.
“Come for me, Benny Bear.”
He groaned. His cock pulsed in my hand as his cum hit my abdomen and chest.
“Good boy.”
Our lips crashed together. Messy. Fervent. Perfect.
His forehead rested against mine, wet with his sweat or mine. Ours.
My fingers trailed up his sides as his body cooled.
“Thank you for pretending,” I whispered as my lips ghosted against his.
Benny pulled back to look at me. Warm brown eyes flicked between mine. Fingers trailed up my cheek until he cupped the side of my face. His mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. “I wasn’t.”
My heart stopped. “What?”
“I wasn’t pretendin’.”
The sweat that remained on my skin prickled as it rapidly cooled.
This was pretend. Thishadto be pretend.
You can’t have him.
“I want you,” he continued before I could recover enough to stop him. “Like this. Outside of this place. Always. I want you.”
You can’t have him. You can’t have him. You can’t have him.
“I…”
“I’d be so good to you. I’d give you everythin’, if you let me.”
You can’t have him. You can’t have him. You can’t have him. You can’t have him. You can’t have him. You can’t have him. You can’t have him. You can’t have him.
Bile crept up the back of my throat. It wasn’t supposed to go like this.
“I can’t.”
That soft, warm look in his eyes froze. Transformed into confusion. “Why?”
“Because I can’t.” My palm flattened on his chest, pushing him away. He yielded, shuffling back to a kneeling position, off me.
“Har—” He stopped himself. “Look, I know it hasn’t been long, but I know what I feel for you… it’s real. I don’t want to stop it. Ican’tstop it.”
I’d fucked up. I’d fucked up so badly.
I got up, snatching my clothes off the floor.
“Don’t go, please. I’m sorry.”
Too late. I wanted to end this before I hurt him, but it was too late.
Weak. Pathetic. Selfish.
