Tyler: We're staying in tonight. Wear something comfy.
Chloe: Your place or mine?
Tyler: Yours. I want to see your space. Learn more about you. I’ll be there at six fifteen, I’ll bring dinner.
So far, we’ve only hung out at his place. The idea of Tyler in my apartment, seeing all my stuffed animals and book collection and general organized chaos, should probably embarrass me.
Instead, it makes me excited. Like I'm finally getting to show someone the real me.
At six-fifteen exactly, Tyler's truck pulls up outside.
I've changed into soft leggings and an oversized sweater, my hair in a messy bun. Comfortable and me.
He knocks on my door, and when I open it, he's holding takeout bags and wearing a smile that makes my knees weak.
"Hey, sweetheart."
"Hey." I step aside to let him in. “What did you grab?”
"Thai food. Figured we could eat while we talk." He sets the bags on my small kitchen counter, then turns to really look around.
I watch nervously as he takes in the space. The bookshelves overflowing with romance novels. The fairy lights strung everywhere. The collection of stuffed animals arranged carefully on my reading chair and couch.
"This is very you," he says finally.
"Is that good or bad?"
"It's perfect." He picks up a stuffed bunny from the couch. "What's this one's name?"
"Mr. Hops. I got him when I was seven."
"And this one?" He points to a teddy bear wearing a tiny scarf and wire rimmed glasses.
"Professor McCuddles. Don't ask. I was ten and going through a phase."
Tyler's smile is soft. "I love that you kept them all. That you're not embarrassed to have reminders of the things that made you happy."
"Most people think it's childish."
"Most people are wrong." He sets Mr. Hops back carefully. "Can I see your room?"
My heart skips. "Why?"
"Because I want to know you. All of you. The parts you show the world and the parts you keep hidden."
I lead him to my bedroom, suddenly nervous.
It's even more aggressively feminine than the living room. Pink bedding with white polka dots. String lights around the headboard. A canopy of sheer white fabric draped overhead. More stuffed animals arranged on the bed, with Mr. Snuggles in the place of honor against my pillows. Mochi is cuddled right in the middle like she often is. My bed is her favorite hang out place.
"This is my safe space," I say quietly. "Where I can be little without judgment."
Tyler is quiet for a long moment, just looking.
Then he says, "Thank you for trusting me enough to show me this."
"You don't think it's too much?"
"I think it's honest and very much you." He turns to face me. "This is who you are when no one's watching. It’s you when you don't have to be the capable business owner or the responsible adult. This is a representation of little Chloe, and she's just as important as big Chloe."
