His eyes close for a second as he nods like it somehow all makes sense. “It sounds like you didn’t trust her.”
I feel my brows pinch together because it was never about not trusting her. It was always about protecting her. It was about fixing the mistakes that I caused for her and making sure that I wasn’t the reason for any more of them.
I’m about to try and explain myself when I recognize Parker’s two finger whistle and Gabe’s cat calls. Coach and I make confused eye contact, but it’s Noah’s, “Damnit, Coop,” that has me jumping out of my seat.
46
chloe
The locker roomsmells like cleaning supplies and adrenaline.
A few half naked guys stand with proud grins, ready to show off what they're working with, while a handful of less flashy guys quickly cover themselves with towels or sweatshirts. I ignore them all as I scan the room, searching for one guy. My guy.
“Damnit, Coop.” Noah spins around, thankfully already in his gear, at least from the waist down. “What are you doing here?”
I swallow when the door to Mr. A’s office practically flies off the hinges and Maverick storms out. I had a mental list of everything I wanted to say to him, but seeing him standing here, I’ve not only forgotten what I came here for, but I’ve forgotten how to breathe.
“Chloe, honey,” Mr. A sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You can’t keep storming the boys locker room like this.”
I love the man, but I ignore him, keeping all my focus on Maverick. “I need to talk to you.”
A second passes and the room that was just echoing withcat calls is now silent. I know without looking that the entire LCU hockey team is staring at me, but it’s Maverick’s eyes that have my nerves trembling.
He tilts his head, and it’s glaringly obvious now how wrecked he actually looks. Not in the scared or angry way he looked after the fight he got into a few weeks back, and not even in the same sad and guarded way he looked when he left my apartment for the last time. He looks…hollow. Not a lick of the sharp confidence, cocky grin, or shiny blue eyes I know him for. Instead, everything is replaced with soft shadows under his eyes and deep tension in his jaw.
He holds out a hand, taking a step toward me, and instinct makes me want to run to him, but I hold firm.
“No,” I say, putting a hand out to stop him. “Here.” I swear the air in the room shifts. The boys avert their eyes, knowing they’re getting a show not meant for them.
“Chlo—” he starts.
“Don’t.” My hands curl into fists at my sides. “You listen to what everyone else has to say, you can listen to me now.” My finger nails dig into my palm, leaving tiny crescent moons, but it’s all I can do to hold myself together.
I inhale a shaky breath, but it comes out softer when his eyes lock on mine. Suddenly, it’s just the two of us again. The equipment, the boys, and the room, all fade away until it's just us standing five feet apart with the weight of the world between us.
“You let people think the worst of you, and I fucking hate it.” My voice shakes but I don’t have it in me to feel embarrassed. “I’ve let you do it because you think it’s easier…but you don’t get to believe them.” His jaw flexes at that and it makes me take a step toward him now.
“I spent my life desperately wanting andbelievingthat I would have this epic love story, and for the longest time, I believed that I had to give all of myself in order for someone to love me, but I’ve never had to do that with you.” I catch theway his fingers twitch at his sides, like he’s actively stopping himself from reaching for me.
I take another step toward him, close enough that if I wanted to, I could reach out and touch him. The silence in the room becomes deafening, reminding me more of all the times we’ve been in the quiet corners of the library rather than in the middle of a pre-game locker room.
I tilt my head back just enough to keep eye contact because I want him to see the truth in my words. “I know what happened.”
His eyes widen, but only for a second, before shame crosses his face and he looks down, unable to meet my eyes.
There’s no stopping me when I reach for the sides of his face, cupping his cheeks that haven't been shaved in days, and angle him to look at me. “You don’t get to protect me by leaving,” I whisper the words soft enough so that only he can hear.
He bites down on his bottom lip, and the look on his face almost destroys me. I know if I wrapped my arms around him, and pressed my lips to his, he would meet me right back, just like he’s always done. But I don’t.
I’ve been fighting for so long to be chosen, but now that I’m fightingbecauseI’ve chosen, I can’t stop until he knows.
My fingers press to the nape of his neck, as I hold him a little tight. “I’ll say it loud enough so that you and everyone else here knows it,” I shout. “I choose you, Maverick. I choose you not out of comfort, proximity, or habit, but out of understanding, trust, and love.” I swipe my thumb once before dropping my hands, but not our eye contact, and take a step back. “What you do with that is on you.”
He opens his mouth to respond but I don’t give him the chance. I know that just like me, when we’re together like this, it’s so easy to fold, and give in, but when he chooses me in return, I want to know with full confidence it was hisdecision, and not because I’m standing in front of him in a room full of his teammates.
Turning on my heel with my head held high, I beeline for the exit. Once the door closes behind me, lights and sounds all come back to me at once. The crowd cheering, the music blaring, the sound of equipment and bodies on the other side of the wall behind me. I take what feels like my first breath, square my shoulders, and walk out of the tunnel knowing that I stood up for the one person who deserves someone to fight for him.
47
