maverick
My muscles flexas I run the soap over my chest.
That game won’t score me any highlight reels. I spent maybe ten percent of it actually defending, and the other ninety percent replaying every word Chloe said.
I know what happened.
I always knew there was a possibility that she would find out, but I couldn’t risk her finding out and choosing to stay with me anyway. When I made that decision, I was unconsciously falling back on who Chloe used to be. The girl who was loyal to a fault, who waited quietly and patiently to be chosen, no matter the cost to herself.
My fuck up wasn’t thinking she would stay with me out of obligation, but rather, in not trusting the woman she’s become. The woman who isn’t scared to tell me when I’ve hurt her feelings. The woman who knows her worth. The woman who now lets go and wishes for the things she was too scared to dream of before.
I thought if she chose to stay with me, it would be out of duty, but I’m seeing what everyone else already knew, and it’s the way she’s standing up for us. Unapologetically loud and proud.
It took me the entire game to find Chloe. I spent every minute while not on the ice scanning the crowd for her. By the last fifteen minutes, I had convinced myself she didn’t stay, and I wouldn’t even blame her if she didn’t. I had one hand on the wall, waiting to swap positions, when I finally spotted her. I don’t know what I was expecting. There wasn’t a single coherent thought in my head. It’s not like I could have hopped the wall and made my way over to her then. Out of my periphery, I could make out Gabe skating my way, and I panicked. Eyes wide, even though she probably couldn't see, I nodded toward the tunnel, silently telling her to meet me there, but with a gentle shove from Coach onto the ice, I didn’t catch her response.
I played out the rest of the game with two thoughts circling my head. The first was if she was going to meet me after the game, and the second was it didn’t matter. Because I would go anywhere to tell her that yes, I choose her. Of course, I choose her. It’s always been her and it was never a question of loving her.
I finish my shower, catching Noah and Silas on their way to Coach Alvarez’s office.
“Good luck, my guy.” Silas lifts his fist, and I tap mine to it.
Noah covers my head with his hand, pulling me in for a gentle head bump. “You got this,” he says.
I tap his back, and thankfully, the rest of the guys are avoiding eye contact. I get dressed, clasp my watch on one wrist, and pull out the scrunchie from the pocket of my bag, placing it on my other.
Relief knocks the air out of my lungs when I push open the door and find Chloe leaning against the wall. Her fingers slide the pendant across of of her necklace,s but she stops and stands up straighter when she sees me walking toward her.
“Do you want to talk out here?” I ask. “I think there’s still some guys changing, if you want to storm the locker roomone more time.” I toss my thumb over my shoulder with a grin.
Her lips turn up, and that small movement alone releases some of the tension.
“I’d hate for you to have to go into dog mode again and get all territorial,” she throws back.
I snort a laugh, closing the last step between us.
“Well, youaremine, so you can’t blame me.”
Her bottom lip catches between her teeth, and she tilts her chin, looking up at me. “Are?” She pauses. “Present tense?”
I cover her hands with my own, holding them between us.
“You were right, Chlo,” I breathe. “Iwasscared. But not about letting you in. You’ve always been in here.” I lift her hand to my chest, pressing her open palm against my beating heart. “I was scared that I was holding you back, and I couldn’t stomach the fact that I was the reason you couldn’t have something.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” she cuts me off with a whisper.
“It doesn’t matter.” I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter if I was the reason or not, none of it should have swayed my trust in you and your ability to make the decision for yourself.” I should have rehearsed something. I’m not used to not having all the right words, but when I look back at Chloe, and she’s looking at me the same way she always has, I take a breath and continue, “I know why I did what I did, and even though there was never any malicious intent, I was still wrong. And I’m sorry.” I cup her cheeks, and like a reflex, her hands wrap around my wrists. “I’m so sorry that I lost trust, and that the one time I believed them was when I should have trusted you the most.”
“Mav,” she says my name no more than a breathy whisper, and her eyes soften in what I know is understanding.
“I’m not that guy. I’ve never been that guy.” I give one final shake of my head. “Even when they all tried to tell me who I was. I didn't listen then and I’m not listening now.” Itake a breath, steadying myself, then lift my eyes to her. “Your opinion is the only one that matters.”
“And the next time someone has something to say about you…or us?” There’s less concern in her face now, and the playful way she tilts her chin loosens all the tightness in my chest.
I drop my forehead to hers, feeling her breath hitch. “Fuck ‘em.” I smile, repeating her words back to her. My thumbs brush gently over her skin before I drop a kiss to her forehead. “I love you, Chloe Cooper. I love you in this universe and all the others, and if you still choose me, I’ll spend all my days believing in this love.”
She laughs through a tear that falls onto the tip of my thumb as she tilts her head just enough that her lips finally brush mine.
“Of everything I believe in, our love is my favorite.”
