maverick
I rubthe ache in my chest, hoping to soothe some of the pain.
I love you. I’ve always seen you for exactly who you are from the very beginning. And I love you.
Every cell in my body lit up at her words and then screamed at me to respond. To wrap my arms around her and tell her that yes, I love you too, I’ve been falling in love with you from the very beginning.
But as soon as the thoughts came, I forced them away. I didn’t get to tell her how I feel, and it will likely eat me alive for the rest of my life.
“Hey, kid.”
I sit in the chair across from William, feeling the weight I’ve been carrying pull me down.
“Uh-oh. What happened?” he asks.
I hang my head between my shoulders, unable to look at him. A combination of not wanting to relive yesterday, and not wanting this man to know that I failed stops me from opening up.
“Nothing.” I drop my elbows to my knees and tuck the chain that's come loose back into my shirt. “I’m just notfeeling all that well tonight. Do you mind if we take a rain check on dinner and just read?”
“Sure, kid.”
I nod my head at nothing in particular, but the backs of my eyes burn because just being here reminds me so much of her.
“Where’s Rosie?” I sniff, looking around the room.
“She still doesn’t have her full strength back, and you know she hates being seen with that walker.”
I absently wonder if Chloe knows what’s been going on with Rosie. Despite their age gap, the two really are the best of friends, and because I know Chloe, I know that if she knew what was going on, she would be spending all her time here making sure Rosie isn’t alone. My hand itches to text her, but just as quickly as the thought comes, I fight it.
I sit back, looking over at William who I’ve just now noticed is wearing a brown sweater—cashmere from the looks of it—with a crisp white shirt underneath and his gold chain resting on the outside.
My gut sinks because I just asked him to stay in and read while not noticing that he was ready to hit the town.I’m such a fucking asshole.
“Hey, Willie, we can still go get dinner.” I nod toward the door but he’s already waving me off.
“Nah. Not tonight. I’m free all week.” He winks at me, and I know it’s supposed to make me feel better but it somehow makes me feel worse.
I nod again, sitting forward and pointing at his book. “Should we read?”
He taps the book against his open palm. “Only if you're up for it. You don’t look like you feel very good.”
My chest feels hollow in a way that makes it hard to breathe, and every step I take feels like I’m dragging my body through the mud, so to say I don’t feel very good would be an understatement. I scrub my hands over myface harder than necessary, before dragging them over my head.
“Yeah, I must have caught something.” It’s a lie, but I’m barely holding myself together. “Maybe you're right. Maybe next week will be better.” I stand from the chair, keeping my eyes low.
I'm startled when a warm soft hand finds mine and I look down at William.
“Whatever it is, Maverick, it’ll be okay.”
My teeth dig into my bottom lip, and I don’t know if it’s because it’s the first time he’s used my name, or the words he says, knowing that he sees through my bullshit, but when he pats the top of my hand with his, I squeeze my eyes shut, locking the tears safely away.
I sniff, patting his shoulder with my free hand, and he lets me go.
There’s a soft knock on my door, but I don’t get up.
“Mav, it’s me.” Silas sounds from the other side.
I close my eyes as disappointment settles in my gut. I knew it wouldn’t be Chloe on the other side, but it didn’t stop me from craving it.
