Either that or I’d lost my magical touch with voodoo and all the sexy spells that had been so easy for me to toss out on others.
The house was quiet. Too quiet.
I moved through the downstairs with a glass of wine in my hand, uncertain where Donatello had gone. After returning home, he’d poured us a drink and we’d sat at the kitchen table for a half an hour, unable to say anything. I don’t even remember coming home, the fog was so thick.
I’d yet to tell anyone our hopes had been dashed. I was certain by tomorrow I’d have a list of the kind of alternatives Ms. Gannon was thinking about, including Russian orphanages. If I knew Alexander, he’d call in favors and find a child for us. Or maybe ask the Five Families for their help.
Right now, I just wanted time.
For once, the last thing I wanted was for the decision to be forced or to go around a system that wasn’t broken. Maybe we were the broken ones.
After searching the downstairs and hearing nothing, I headed up the stairs, finding the bedroom untouched.
A moment of dread rolled into my system as I headed down the hall. We’d been so certain a child would be coming home in the next two weeks that we’d already fixed up the nursery. Fixed up. Creating the perfect little dream room had taken every moment of our free time. We’d enjoyed doing so together, picking out all the little objects from the crib to the changing table, the rocker for Mama and the stuffed animals.
We’d even painted the room together, getting more paint on each other than the walls. But we’d made it special because of our love.
I had no idea if I could ever walk into the room again.
Yet that’s where I found him, sitting in the rocker. I could feel the despair coming off his body as he stared at the crib. The same queasiness in my stomach even as he sensed my presence. In his hand was a glass of whiskey, which he twirled back and forth across the arm of the rocker. He’d pulled the blinds and the shadows would have been ominous except that he’d turned on the mobile over the crib.
A luminescent glow of stars floated across the ceiling.
Somehow, I managed to walk further inside.
“I can’t fix this,” he said quietly.
What was I supposed to say to that? I moved closer, able to run my finger across the edge of the crib before kneeling in front of him. I never thought in a million years I’d see tears in his eyes.
He took a pull of his drink and I was certain he was about to toss the glass against the wall. That’s why I placed my hand on his. “You don’t need to fix it. You just need to be with me.”
His exhale was full of anger and despair, exactly the way I felt. He slowly lifted his head, allowing a slight smile. “You are the strongest woman I know.”
“I’m not strong. I’m just… My family is with you. That’s all I need.”
Half laughing, he brushed hair from my face and I took comfort in nuzzling against his hand. “You’re so beautiful, Emmeline. So amazing. One day I’ll give you everything you want. One day. Somehow.”
When my phone rang, I pulled his hand to my lips, pressing a single kiss before pulling out my phone. Recognizing the number, I sighed. “I should take this. I’ll be right back.”
I headed from the room and down the hall, taking several shallow breaths.
“Emmeline Giovanni.”
Just as I answered, I heard a loud boom coming from the nursery. What in the hell was he doing?
“Mrs. Giovanni. I’m glad I caught you. I wanted to go over?—”
Crash. Wham!
Jesus Christ. What was he doing? I could hear his heavy breathing.
I pressed my hand against my ear, trying to listen to what was being said.
“I thought you’d want to know right away.” Her voice was calm.
I slumped against the wall. “You’re sure.”
“I’m positive. Now, we should get you in for more extensive tests and a path forward, but I’m positive.”
