She sighed, still putting most of her energy into dealing with me. “Yes, well, sometimes looks can be deceiving.”
“Meaning what?” I asked, feeling the first twinge of real anger.
“Meaning, when the entire picture of a couple comes into light.”
“I suggest you explain yourself and do so now.” Donatello was already rising to a standing position.
I did my best to calm him, placing my hand on his as he leaned over her desk menacingly. “I’ll handle this, honey bunchkins.” As soon as he sat back down, I stood, now the one leaning over her and I knew for certain my look was very threatening.
“Emmeline.”
The fear was evident in her voice. “Ms. Gannon. Are you trying to insinuate in any way that our family is not considered good enough to adopt a child?” I was already getting emotional. “Are you even remotely trying to tell me that we don’t make enough money or couldn’t provide a good home? Are you even thinking that we wouldn’t love this beautiful child with all our hearts because I can tell you with no reservation that my husband and I will…” A sob broke free and I was not only mortified, I was furious with myself. “That we will love this little baby with everything we have, our entire hearts and souls. That’s what adoption is supposed to be about. Right? Love? Caring about a child to the point that we would die to keep him or her safe? Right?”
And I would.
I’d already realized with my heart of hearts that I would die to keep our precious baby safe.
So would Donatello.
She was so taken aback, I feared she would bolt out the door. Thankfully, she stood her ground, but maybe too much.
I’d thought her reactions plastic before, but as her expression hardened, I wanted to reach out and rip her heart out through her throat.
“Yes, but it’s not just about love, Mrs. Giovanni. As I said, there are other factors such as the aspect of danger in the life of a child.” She ripped open her desk drawer, pulling something into her hand.
“Danger?” Donatello repeated and I sensed he was ready to tell her how many soldiers would watch our child throughout almost every hour of the day.
Not the best comment to make.
“Yes, Mr. Giovanni. Danger. I’m sorry, but it’s widely known that you’re the enforcer for a mob group, dangerous men who solve their issues using guns. Now, that’s fine if you want to do that with your naturally born children, but not with those inside the system. I suggest you consider other alternatives.”
“Other alternatives?” I threw back. “I wouldn’t be here if there were other alternatives for me. I can’t have children. I’m physically incapable. Do you know what that makes me feel like? Do you know or even care about the sleep I’ve lost in wanting and wishing for a precious child to hold and watch grow? To teach and share in laughter and all the good times?”
I could tell my words of love were being showered on deaf ears.
“I understand, Mrs. Giovanni, but my hands are tied.” She slapped down whatever was in her hand against our application with enough force, I jumped.
The huge wordDeniedwas printed in rubber-stamped ink and that’s when I lost it.
A split second before I had my hands wrapped around her throat, Donatello caught me, dragging me toward the door.
Once outside, he pulled me into his arms.
“It’ll be okay, baby. Everything will be okay. I’m going to make certain that happens. I’ll do anything for you. Anything.”
Anything.
And he would.
Including murder if that’s what it took, but this was one thing in our world that couldn’t be fixed by someone’s death or with money, power, and influence.
For two people who had everything in the world, the loss was unbearable.
* * *
Magic was highly overrated.
I’d come to that conclusion.
