CHAPTER 1
KELLER
Lawson: Still meeting at Top Shelf tonight to ring in the New Year, right?
Lawson: Just say yes, or I swear I’ll cry.
Hayes: I kind of think I’d like to see that.
Hayes: You crying, just so we’re clear.
Hutch: I have. It’s not pretty. You’re better off just agreeing to whatever it is he’s trying to cook up.
Fox: Aww. Why’d you cry, buddy?
Locke: I’m guessing it was one of the times Keller was mean to him.
Me: I’m not mean. I just say what everyone else is thinking.
Lawson: In the worst way possible.
Lawson: And no, Keller did NOT make me cry.
Hutch: It was at his brother’s wedding. Dude was slinging snot all over the place and everything.
Lawson: That’s because weddings are beautiful. You’re just cold-hearted!
Hutch: I am not. I cry.
Lawson: Oh, really? Name one time.
Hutch: Uh, when my BABY was born.
Lawson: Ha ha what a loser!
Hayes: Shit, Hutchy. That’s kind of sweet.
Fox: Awww
Locke: I mean, how could you not? She’s adorable.
Lawson: WAIT
Lawson: WTF
Lawson: You guys really aren’t going to make fun of him for CRYING?!?!
Locke: Nah
Hayes: No, dude. His girl just had his freakin’ BABY.
Fox: I would never!
Lawson: Keller? Anything?
Me: I got nothing. Like Hayesy said, he had a baby. Tears are expected.
Lawson: WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL
