He shifted his gaze to the box he had wrapped and placed on Bowie’s pillow for when he returned. They were leaving in the morning, and Kari was conflicted for the first time in his life about his next steps. Dad professing Popi had cried with them all had him going into his contact list and dialing Popi’s number, needing someone to talk him off the edge of insanity.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Lane
The emotional upheaval that came with his sons finding their mates, though he’d a hand in finding the perfect mate for them—something he’d never confess to—never lessened.
Seeing his sons find their happiness with that special someone was all he’d ever wanted for them. He’d heard other parents talk of success and business acumen. Lane didn’t give one iota of care to those things. Love. Acceptance. Support. Those were vital, and Silas had more of a rocky road than some to finding these with Ziggy.
He buried his face in Derick’s neck, inhaling the familiar scent as he curled up on his lap, where he’d been since the call with Silas. The tears were from happiness, though he could feel Derick’s panic. He had never been good with Lane’s tears.
“Come on, my love,” he begged, stroking a hand up and down his leg.
Lane sniffed and kissed the bounding pulse before lifting to look at his husband. “You know you get as sappy as me.”
“I—”
“No fibbing to me, I know you.” He moved to kiss the pouting lips. Their sons had never seen this side of their father. The man had these fixed ideas and would never admit to pouting.
He dragged his mouth away at the buzzing phone sitting on the lamp table to their left. Each of his boys had their own assigned ringtone.
“Kari.” Lane frowned, sliding off Derick’s lap. “Was there anything in your group chat that would have Kari ringing me?” he asked, as he reached for the phone. They were all heading home the following day, so this meant something was on Kari’s mind.
Derick’s gaze turned thoughtful. “It was just about Silas’s situation with Ziggy and the usual ribbing they do to each other.”
The sense that something was wrong with Kari grew, so Lane switched the call to video chat the second he accepted it. It took a second for Kari to accept, and the moment his face appeared on the screen, Lane knew he was right to worry.
“What happened?” The tear-swollen eyes were unexpected.
“Popi…” Kari rubbed a hand over his jaw, eyes full of pain.
Lane released a frustrated sigh at not being able to give Kari a hug. “What, my sweet boy? Tell me what hurts.”
“Why am I not enough for Bowie?” he sobbed out, taking the wind right out of Lane’s hopes for his son.
Derick placed a hand on his trembling thigh, squeezing gently, but Lane’s attention remained on Kari. “Why do you say that?”
“He’s not telling anyone about us. It’s like I’m a dirty secret or something. I want to go at his pace, I do. I have. It’s just seeing Silas, fuck! And Booker and Taylin being able to be open about their feelings, I want that so bad.” He heaved out an anguished groan. “Why can’t I have that? Why? I feel so fucking selfish for feeling like this, Popi.”
Lane sucked in a breath, an ache developing at the back of his eyes, this time out of pain not happiness. “Have you spoken to Bowie about this? About how you feel?”
Kari shook his head, forcing the tears off the end of his chin. “I don’t want to push him into something he clearly doesn’t want. It’s been months, and the way it started, I get the reasoning behind keeping quiet about it. But now that we’ve both declared we love each other, I want everyone to know he’s mine. That I love him. I want to be free to touch him without worrying someone might see. It’s exhausting trying to hide my feelings. My wolf is furious we haven’t mated like I discussed with Bowie, but if he won’t acknowledge we have something special, how can I take that step when he might change his mind?”
Kari’s pain was overwhelming when Lane knew he couldn’t do much of anything to change this situation. What he understood was that Kari could get in the way of himself because the side of him that wanted to take care of people was more prominent than taking care of his own needs. Bowie was and would always be Kari’s first priority. Except in doing that, it was hurting him.
“Then stop trying. Give yourself a break from Bowie and come home. The space will give Bowie thinking time too, won’t it?”
Derick hissed out a curse and shook his head. Lane held up his hand to stop Derick saying more. Kari needed to be given the push to talk to Bowie and to Lane’s mind, this was it. Because Kari would never willingly leave Bowie.
“W-what?” he spluttered, scrubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Y-you think I should leave him?”
“Yes. You aren’t ready to be honest with him.” Lane cringed on the inside at being this brutal when Kari was this upset, but he needed it. “Space to get some clarity would be the right choice, for both of you, would it not?”
Say no. Say no.
“I don’t… I can’t… Popi, I love him,” he finished in anguish.
He didn’t need to acknowledge the relief he witnessed in his husband's eyes when he finally got what Lane was trying to achieve. “I know, sweet boy. Then the only answer is to…” He waited.
